Sex, Cheating and Intimacy: Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving...

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 15:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130 281

You deserved it 5 460

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Romantic gesture

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 18:00

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 470

You deserved it 309

In the mood

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 02:00

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 309

You deserved it 214

Surprise!

By Shobz - 26/10/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 728

You deserved it 2 764

Romance is dead

By Dead Bedrooms, here i come - 13/03/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 120

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 02:01

Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 842

You deserved it 371

By dwood08 - 07/11/2014 01:55 - United States - New York

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 039

You deserved it 15 941

Sussy

By Anonymous - 11/09/2023 07:30

Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 290

By Kaji - 14/11/2008 11:20 - France

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 558

You deserved it 24 135

Sorry!

By Tally - 24/09/2009 16:16 - Canada

Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited, until I saw they were from a friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 897

You deserved it 2 875

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:00 - Hungary - Szeged

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 858

You deserved it 3 994

Nykaen 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 23:05

Dude... Leave her, she is worthless. And disown your brother... No man should ever do that to family.

crazyval619 6

Wednesday 5 August 2009 23:01

Dude that sucks.

Comments

muffinsareyummy 1

Thursday 6 August 2009 17:39

BURN.

honeyishrnkdakid 2

Thursday 6 August 2009 18:48

Perfect comment. Short, sweet, to the point, and exactly on target.

udumbidiot 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 19:05

I find it really disturbing that people told you to murder them viciously. seriously. is that necessary??? just divorce HER, and never speak to HIM again. Karma will get them in time

RococoJ 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 19:09

a serious FML moment.

DameGreyWulf 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 19:54

Your brother needs the **** beat out of him, no exceptions, and kick that bitch to the curb. FYL for being surrounded by bastards and ******. Don't forget to tell everyone in your family and everyone he knows (that will care) about what he did immediately. Ruin his life. Ruin the twat's life in the divorce, if possible.