Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML
Today, I learned that kicking an armed mugger's ass is something that only happens in movies, and that brass knuckles are really fucking painful. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday but 3 of them ganged up on me and molested my arse cheeks. Later, someone found a wooden plank and spanked me hard. There was also a BB gun and my arse was the target. I have been a social outcast all my life, and these are my only friends, but I'm always hit. FML
Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
1. You're gullible as hell 2. Never trust any of your guy friends - guys are assholes 3. Ice them balls brother.
olpally 33
After you're done being in pain, kick them in the balls. Bastards.
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Comments (87)
tiernang 21
at least you have a story to tell your potentially messed up kids...
astralvagan 20
YDI for at least being gullible enough to not think something stupid would happen.... But the balls will stop hurting eventually
transcedental 18
I don't like how this FML is written. This is what irritates me: "Today I learned a few things ... getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot." It's not like you haven't been kicked in the balls before... ;/
transcedental 18
I don't have balls, but that doesn't stop me from knowing that it hurts getting kicked there.
CharresBarkrey 16
For some reason, I really like the way OP worded this FML. It's unique
CallMeMcFeelii 14
You really don't know how getting kicked in the balls truly feels like, unless you have them. You may think you know, but you don't.
xx000o 27
For some strange reason I think you may have some nards you just don't want to talk about.
Olympiakos10 15
Next time wear a cup covered with steel on the outside and ask them to do it again ;)
ImAFaker 29
And then take the cup and hit them in the face. Problem solved.
Dcm210 19
Yeah some people never grow up.
dawood_k 27
When you closed your eyes did you expect a kiss? Damn you've still got a lot to learn...
vindicated21 12
4. Find new friends.
LtBrenton 16
You should go see a dude up in the countryside. I hear he sells learning pills.
CreeperXRemix15 8
Actually, you got kicked in the scrotum, but nice try.
TheDrifter 24
Unless the shoe pierced flesh. In which case he really may have been kicked in the balls, and I'll bet it hurt.
hig999 19
Lol youre pretty stupid eh