Today, I learned that kicking an armed mugger's ass is something that only happens in movies, and that brass knuckles are really fucking painful. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered the hard way that training in martial arts means nothing when the thug harassing your wife at the bar has a mate stood behind you ready, willing, and able to kick you square in the balls with a toe-capped work boot while you’re getting into your correct fighting stance. FML
Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, I found out that unlike in movies, you really don't know you're shot until you see the gunshot wound. Then, once the adrenaline wears off, it's complete agony. FML
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I deterred a would-be mugger with judicious use of a stun gun. Now he and his criminal friends are stalking me and swearing revenge. I can't afford to move and the cops are useless. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, I learned what a nail gun shooting my leg feels like. FML
Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Brass knuckles doesn't really count as armed. Maybe fingered?
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Comments (1)
RichardPencil 32
Brass knuckles doesn't really count as armed. Maybe fingered?