Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML
Today, I learned that kicking an armed mugger's ass is something that only happens in movies, and that brass knuckles are really fucking painful. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday but 3 of them ganged up on me and molested my arse cheeks. Later, someone found a wooden plank and spanked me hard. There was also a BB gun and my arse was the target. I have been a social outcast all my life, and these are my only friends, but I'm always hit. FML
Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
1. You're gullible as hell 2. Never trust any of your guy friends - guys are assholes 3. Ice them balls brother.
olpally 33
After you're done being in pain, kick them in the balls. Bastards.
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Comments (87)
Furytalon 14
When they're sleeping sucker punch them in the gut
chocolatefrog28 29
I'd ask how you didn't see that coming, but you closed your eyes in the first place. Make friends with an ice pack.
skyeyez9 25
Just kick them in the balls as revenge. But wait a few weeks or even a month or two then kick them so it happens unexpectedly, like they did to you.
TheLittleBear 19
Not all friends are arseholes. Just yours.
gaki_fml 8
You got it wrong. #1. Assholes are not friends. #2. Never trust an asshole. #3. If they kick you in the balls, they will cease to have any.
ratorr2 23
With friends like that, who needs enemies? Time to find some real friends.
Jst4kicks 16
just run it off bro
RobinGoodfellow 47
The unfortunate thing about FML is that they edit the submissions before posting them. I happened to moderate this post and the original said that they kicked him with steel toe boots and he had to have a ruptured ******** surgically removed. FML, you toned it down!
BrianaKoala 7
I used to kick my cousins in the balls when I was little, I never realized the pain that they went through.
cmoney1992 9
4. Hopefully you learned not to be gullible