Today, I gave birth to my first son. He was 11 pounds and the labour lasted 22 hours. My husband was absent for 8 of those hours because he slipped when my water broke, cracked his head, and ended up in the ER next door. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML
Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML
Today, my water broke. Due to Covid-19, we couldn't go straight to labor and delivery, so had to go to the emergency room and wait to be taken up. I sat there for an hour with a ruptured sac and contractions. FML
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I welcomed our first son into the world. After I gave birth, he said he was going home to make sure the house was ready for baby. A few hours later, he was tagged in a Facebook photo by a mutual friend at the local bar. FML
Today, during the birth of my first child, my epidural didn't work. FML
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, at 2 in the morning, my water broke. I called my mom and woke her up to come watch our older kid, while my husband and I went to the hospital. After being tested at the hospital, I was told I had just peed myself. FML
Today, I went into labor, and my husband wasn't answering his phone. I called my sister to ask her to drive me to the hospital but she said she'd only do it if I paid her $1000. I had to dial 911, and almost gave birth in my bathroom in process. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Shouldn't this be your husband's FML? I'll write it for him. "Today, I missed 8 hours of my wife's 22-hour labor because I slipped in her amniotic fluid, cracked my head, and had to go to the E.R. FML." That one's on the house.
DanielleinDC 34
It's not like he wanted to be absent. I hope he's okay. Congrats on the birth of your child.
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Comments (27)
thatslifeiguess7 16
Um you did that natural! please say C section
Alaina Heuerman 21
Well at least you can have an... interesting story to tell him and his friends as he gets older...
donb23 23
Well I guess he was there for the entire conception ( I hope) and she wanted him there during the entire birthing process so so can scream at him “LOOK WHAY YOU DID TO ME!!!!”
tounces7 28
He slipped on your water breaking? What is this, Mario Kart?
chellecandi 9
First off..To that other commenter.. I gave birth to a 12.8lb boy and I did not have gestational diabetes, some babies are just big. Secondly, it's unfortunate that your husband wasn't able to be there for 8hrs during that long labor you experienced, but he was there for some of the time and that's important!