Today, I honked at a man in a Subway parking lot. He rolled down his window and screamed insults and slurs at me before driving away. Why did I honk at him? He'd left his lunch on top of his car. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Public freakout
Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Mean streets
Today, I was driving when a couple flipped the bird on me before cutting me off, so I flipped them off back. After they'd got away, another driver thought I'd actually been flipping him off and followed me into a parking lot. This guy was huge, and let’s just say he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. FML
Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML
Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Jesus freak
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
Neighbors from hell
Today, after a few months of my neighbor's friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed, "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML
Coming through!
Today, I was driving around a parking lot, looking for an empty spot. Someone was backing out a bit too quickly as I was about to pass by, so I honked to announce myself. The driver instead panicked and reversed into my front bumper. FML
Top comments
hotshot0185 15
You tried at least., now free subway for you.
ladylilly25 20
And then he realized why you honked, once he got on the highway, and felt really stupid.
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Comments (60)
websphere69 27
some people are beyond being helped....
BeachBumNC 5
After his rant, politely say "I thought you may have left your lunch on the roof because you we're distracted. Now I know it's because you are an idiot."
Faeryl_fml 6
Sounds like he deserves to lose his lunch and be hungry lol
TogeBara 12
This happened to me. I got out of the car after blocking said douche into his space, and walked over to his car. I then grabbed his lunch, got back into my car, and drove home. He just sat there cursing at me the entire time. I can't help but wonder at the fact that he didn't notice me take his lunch or wonder what I was doing.
iseeyourpanties 6
what a douche. although I probablt would have done the same. honking at peeps gives off a bad vibe.
joopjoop 19
once i was behind a truck filled with roofing scraps and i honked my horn every time something flew out the back of their truck and almost hit my car, five times btw, and they didnt realize why i was honking either... people just dont understand honking anymore
LyraAlluse 25
When he takes a sandwich to the windshield on the freeway I think he will finally understand.
bbpgrs 7
I would've still pointed it out. he could've been having a bad day.
olfool 3
How is that an FML for you? He lost his lunch for being a dick.
nurchok 15
For every nice person like you, there is always a bunch of assholes. Keep up being awesome and don't let this incident discourage you.