Today, I heard on the news that the average debt one is in when... - FML

By krissysays - 25/10/2010 02:16 - United States

Today, I heard on the news that the average debt one is in when they graduate college is $24,000. I've been in college for one year and my debt is already $20,000. And it turns out that my school's accreditation does not exist like I was told. $20,000 in debt and no college credits to show for it. FML

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Family values

This is fine

Buzzing the tower

By Alison - 8/12/2009 02:14 - United States

Today, the "hot" guy I've been talking to for a few weeks sent me a picture. He was very overweight and not good looking at all. He then followed up with, "Now send me one of you so I can prove to all of my friends that you're real." FML

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By oops - 4/3/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

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By cutiekenz21 - 31/7/2011 00:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:37 - Australia

Today, my parents told me off for reading, as opposed to watching TV like the rest of the family, because it was "anti-social". FML

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By IllJustGetYouASweaterThen - 4/8/2010 07:58 - United States

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she likes my lips and wants to rape me. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/1/2013 12:20 - Slovakia

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

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By Cassidy Bowen - 16/6/2012 05:42 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I decided to not wear makeup for the first time. My boyfriend asked me if I got punched in the face. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 17:35 - United States

Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML

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By NOIDIDNOT - 19/11/2012 06:21 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

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By Uhg - 10/3/2019 02:00

Today, my spouse made it clear that they would rather play videogames than be intimate with me. I've tried everything but get nothing. FML

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By sausagefingers - 22/10/2012 05:29 - United States - Nixa

Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML

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By Anonymous - 26/8/2020 23:02 - Germany - Köln

Yummy

Today, I discovered that 90% of what I do still works on autopilot when I’m too tired to pay attention: Take coffee cup, walk to fridge, open fridge door, grab bottle, pour contents into coffee. The missing 10% was the fact that this particular bottle contained grapefruit juice. FML

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By michelle - 5/2/2010 19:01 - France

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML

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By SisterOfTard - 10/11/2014 16:31 - United States - Florence

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/1/2014 15:05 - United States - Bellflower

Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML

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By alison - 4/7/2015 05:02 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

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By whyme_ss - 23/2/2010 22:10 - United States

Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML

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By IngenuityAbsent - 22/2/2015 13:54 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

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By Leslie - 30/12/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

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By quietdown - 30/5/2009 19:50 - United States

Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/7/2020 02:02

Higher standards

Today, my mom fought with me again for missing an "important" 4th of July family barbecue. I was working until the morning, finishing grad school applications. There are always family events, and also apparently my brother missing the same barbecue to party with friends is perfectly fine. FML

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By Sickie. - 2/9/2010 16:03 - United States

Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/7/2014 04:26 - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, after losing his job, I reassured my boyfriend by telling him I'd rather be with him living in a cardboard box than to be without him. He responded by telling me he'd rather be dead. FML

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By offbeans - 17/2/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

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By ninaaaa - 24/2/2014 00:34 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my sister finished a project about something she hates. Me. FML

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By madib33 - 11/1/2014 05:49 - United States

Today, after much debate I let my mom wax my eyebrows. Now I get to look super surprised until they grow back. FML

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By conbon123 - 29/4/2013 07:20 - United States - Beaverton

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

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By Anna - 18/3/2010 12:20 - United States

Today, I called my dad at his new wife's house to inform him I was all set to graduate from community college with my associates degree and that we needed to sit down and plan how to pay for the 4 year degree. To which he replied "all a girl needs is an associates degree". Thanks dad. FML

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By Melinda - 10/12/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I was walking through the bar area of the restaurant I work at and fell on my ass. Customers complained to my manager that I shouldn't be drinking on the job. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/8/2012 23:25 - United Kingdom - Kent

Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML

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By Audrey - 21/7/2020 14:01

My eyes! My eyes!

Today, I walked in on my mom masturbating. I want to run away. I feel violated. FML

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By KMKWEEN - 16/2/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, I was at work. I work at a grocery store and a woman pulls a cart to me filled with chips, breads, lunch meats, and sodas. I said to her "Looks like you are going to have a fun party" she then looks at me and says "My mother just died, this is for after the funeral. FML

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By RatFailure - 11/1/2012 05:23 - United States

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

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By Himynameisjacob - 5/1/2010 07:18 - United States

Today, I was told that, although I was sick on the last day before break, they would still accept the 24 page essay that I had written. Tonight, as I went to print it out, I found that my dad had "cleaned up a bit" on my computer, including the documents from last semester. I have school tomorrow. FML

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By Heather - 31/5/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/9/2010 06:04 - United States

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/7/2020 23:03

Chilly

Today, I'm a young, healthy non-smoker, getting plenty of exercise and walking about 8.000 steps a day. I still have ice-cold feet. Even wearing two pairs of socks. And Lambswool boots. In July. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/2/2014 21:39 - United States - Daytona Beach

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

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By Username - 1/4/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML

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By SadDad - 6/3/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

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Top comments

By 1kings67 | 0

#1599442 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:07

should have researched the college first

By BoyFromTheFuture | 0

#1599484 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:12

go to a different school asap. it's obvious accreditation means something to you or you wouldn't have mentioned it. Don't pay 20k a year for something that's not going to earn it back for you.

COMMENTS

By princess_88 | 0

#1599419 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:05

Damn

Reply

nickaay9 | 0

#1599438 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:06

niceee

Reply

stephanie0613 | 0

#1599780 - Monday 25 October 2010 10:08

wow FYL big time, sorry to hear that!

Reply

thatonek1d | 0

#1604452 - Tuesday 26 October 2010 4:39

you going to westwood college?

By xGabri3L | 3

#1599421 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:05

Stick to it though.

Reply

kayiscoolllll | 6

#1599517 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:16

there's no point in continuing college there if it's not an acredited school!

Reply

kayiscoolllll | 6

#1599535 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:19

*accredited

Reply

iSitt | 0

#1599638 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:37

jump ship.
they lied to you. you don't owe them another $60,000.
without accreditation it is pointless.

Reply

primadonna9396 | 16

#1604424 - Tuesday 26 October 2010 4:29

Agreed. Cut your losses. Also, YDI for going to a "college" you heard of on a TV ad.

By GavinRoskamp | 0

#1599423 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:05

Well that sucks...

Reply

knibbsy | 4

#1599626 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:35

Would you like to sing Guns 'N Roses with me at a bar for karaoke night sometime?

Reply

hahaalolz | 0

#1599846 - Monday 25 October 2010 10:35

holy shit that was random

By katieebabyy | 0

#1599432 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:06

That's nothing compared to many in this economy. Stop bitching. YDI

Reply

C6Racer | 0

#1599493 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:13

What a bitch.

Reply

Anaxes | 5

#1599507 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:15

I'm seriously confused about the "OMG THIS ECONOMY" posts. Are people fighting to the death over spare change in America or something? Or do people just climax when they see the opportunity to use "Economy" in a sentence?

Reply

suppressed08 | 2

#1599540 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:19

^This.

Who WOULD want to be $20k in debt at that age?

Reply

sundayporch | 2

#1599663 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:42

Who would want to be 20,000 in debt at ANY age?

Reply

Anaxes | 5

#1599683 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:44

Anyone who makes a 6 figure salary would be fine with a $20K debt.

Reply

lemoncows | 2

#1601223 - Monday 25 October 2010 14:14

most college students don't tho...

Reply

lotuspod | 0

#1601432 - Monday 25 October 2010 15:23

yea the average person don't even work on a salary let alone making 6 figures, and 20k debt is a lot at any age

By 1kings67 | 0

#1599442 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:07

should have researched the college first

Reply

Honesty4U | 0

#1602266 - Monday 25 October 2010 18:51

Agreed! That's not hard to to!

Reply

Honesty4U | 0

#1602271 - Monday 25 October 2010 18:53

*do!

Reply

buddymask1 | 0

#1603936 - Tuesday 26 October 2010 1:49

he probably did, that's the depressing part.

Reply

lolbrick | 0

#1607046 - Tuesday 26 October 2010 20:40

if he did, then he is either bad at it, or was too lazy to do proper research.

By molil_4810 | 0

#1599447 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:08

you silly troll

( quote by zdani )

Reply

Bee_fml | 2

#1599477 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:11

Enough with the repeat comment. This area is not for spam.

By FFML_314 | 11

#1599463 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:09

Welcome to life.

Reply

lgs25 | 0

#1599482 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:11

exactly besides you shouldve checked its credentials before

Reply

carriedaway02 | 0

#1604797 - Tuesday 26 October 2010 6:44

^ agreed. sorry OP.

By BoyFromTheFuture | 0

#1599484 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:12

go to a different school asap. it's obvious accreditation means something to you or you wouldn't have mentioned it. Don't pay 20k a year for something that's not going to earn it back for you.

Reply

didoca | 0

#1599835 - Monday 25 October 2010 10:25

the accreditation just means that if op decides to transfer to a cheaper school the credits won't transfer... so it's either 20k a year for 3 more years or transfer now and be out 20k

Reply

valalvax | 13

#1599966 - Monday 25 October 2010 11:27

lacking accreditation means his "degree" is basically more useful for wiping his ass than getting a job... *cough ITT *cough*

Reply

grant2000 | 13

#7929837 - Monday 10 August 2020 18:53

but its the "college experience " drinking and party is what you really pay for

By RonnieBurgundy | 0

#1599497 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:13

I love scotch, scotchie scotch scotch - here it goes down, down into my belly - mmm mmm mmm.

By BedIntruder | 4

#1599537 - Monday 25 October 2010 9:19

they climbing yo windows snatchin yo cash up

Reply

itsbutagame | 0

#1599911 - Monday 25 October 2010 11:05

fail.

Reply

Selena_is_back | 7

#1599990 - Monday 25 October 2010 11:41

lol it's kinda funny...

Reply

llamalpaca382 | 13

#3465923 - Friday 21 October 2011 12:43

Well played, sir.