Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML
Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
Today, my dad had a seizure just after taking his anti-seizure medicine and having been seizure-free for two and a half months. Did I mention I was pooping while my poor dad was having this? I ran out with my pants around my ankles, due to my stepmom flipping out, screaming at me to find the phone (which she found). FML
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
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Top comments
Ilovelife07 0
best username
riplikethat 0
"I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned... blah blah blah" No shit.
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Comments (92)
DrunkenValor 0
Why oh why did I look at FML whilst eating.
DrunkenValor 0
Ewww...
M13LO 0
looks like you and your dad were shitted
GOBOY_fml 0
Did it remind you of a slip 'n' slide? lol FYL
The_Pleb 0
i bet you shit it
Soejoto 0
lucky for me, when ever my dad finds dog poop he screams 'i hate this ******* dog' so i can know to be careful where i walk.
deOrca 8
I wish my dad was like that. Mine screams like the OP's, but then he WALKS ALL OVER THE CARPET in his shoes leaving poo prints all over the place yelling, "TOWL! Clean this sh*t up!" ...I haven't slipped in any crap yet but I'm afraid this might happen to me one day. FBOL.
plexico 4
And I thought the Ice Capades was shitty!
Intoxicunt 6
Open wide, then. :) plexi, you got competition.
xCrackerx 3
For some reason, this made me think of Tub Girl.
juneping 0
oh..it's so disgusting. what did u feed your dogs?
plexico 4
You think that's disgusting -- the dog with the diarrhea probably ate the poop of the other. Dogs do that shit.
Lekerareas 0
2 dogs 1 cup?
plexico 4
Excellent. Toxi, did you see this?
Intoxicunt 6
I did! Awesome comment is awesome. I pictured that. I threw up a little in my mouth and creamed myself at the same time.
plexico 4
All right, you win, I'll teabag you from the day we meet in real life, even if you are clumsy. You sure play hardball!