Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML
Today, I was found out when I was a baby, I was abandoned in a dumpster. FML
Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML
Today, I found a baby in a cradle on my doorstep. I was shocked that someone would do this, so I picked it up and uncovered the baby. It was actually a rudimentary stink bomb that went off in my face when I uncovered it. FML
Today, I saw a shady looking customer carrying a very suspicious looking baby stroller with a blanket on top of it. Thinking they were shoplifting, I stopped them before they walked out of the store and snatched it. The attachable car seat came off and there really was a baby in there. A real live crying baby. FML
Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML
Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
You should have looked inside because if there really was a baby I would have went straight in, not wait for the cops.
redbluegreen 41
You should've checked mate, but your heart's in the right place. I think. If it was a real baby, it could've died between the time you heard it and the time the police came in.
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Comments (342)
kcroyals23 0
Your a ******* retard. They look nothing alike.
Morgane324 0
Some plastic puppets are scarily identical to babies. In my opinion, better you called the police and it wasn't a real baby than the other way around.
Hullaballoo 0
You should have looked in the dumpster, but you did do the right thing in calling the cops.
lbg513 0
@41 &162 (and others, I'm sure) - Sound recordings are in fact getting that good these days. It's quite creepy! I have some toys for my 7 month old daughter that "laugh" and "cry" and while I know my daughter's voice and would never mistake it for being her, it has caught me off guard from time to time. 162 you must not come in contact with many of the modern baby toys that make these sounds, because rarely do the newer ones sound robotic at all.... .... Although you do have a point when saying that it would sound repetitive. Unless it's one of those creepy dolls that they made us use back in high school health classes (do they still do that??), which keep freaking out, but without the telltale doll "pauses" in between crying jags... OP: I'm sure there were reasons you didn't jump in, and at least you bothered to do SOMETHING. Far too many people in this world are complacent nowadays and figure if it doesn't have to do with them, it's not their problem, sadly enough even when it comes to babies - as proven by the point someone made earlier about that show in which people saw a "baby" in a car on a hot day and did absolutely nothing about it.
BaldOuting 0
you really didn't even look in the dumpster?
Lythiaren 8
First thing I thought when I read this was that some student out there is going to fail their family studies course. At my old high school, the family studies kids were all given lifelike dolls that actually sounded like infants. Could've been one of those. Poor OP. At least you had good intentions.
feesh 0
why would you wait for the cops to pull the baby out? I mean really, it's a baby....yea it turned out to be fake but come on..
itypedformiles 0
1) Why the hell wouldn't you pull the baby out of the dumpster yourself and then wait for the cops with it? 2) At least it wasn't a burrito.
feesh 0
ignore my previous comment...
monique33 0
at least you were prepared