Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML
Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that the reason I was sobbing hysterically as she told me that I was getting a pay raise was because I was going to the vet to have my sick and dying cat put down. Good news at a bad time. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML
Today, I was the designated emotional support person for my friend's mom as she went to have her sick cat put down. The cat was aggressive towards the male vet. She said, "She doesn't like men" to which the vet replied, "Well, soon that won't be a problem." The willpower it took both of us to not yell at him, or worse… FML
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Top comments
LadyClarik 8
Was it take your drunk girlfriend to work day? It it was, I'd say you had a smashing success.
skittlestrailmix 14
I guess that she didn't know cats that aren't fixed can get their periods.
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Comments (88)
youngsofly 13
Pimp slap that bitch.
Rukkus92 16
Sounds like your girlfriend may have been on her period.
perdix 31
Why didn't you tell her to shut the **** up and quit molesting the merchandise? Are you perhaps... *lowers sunglasses* pussy-whipped?
Trisha_aus 15
I've missed those sunglasses..they're back :)
zombieslayer83 19
Never took them off #52. The sun never sets in coolsville.
Jordath_Fil 11
Doesn't Coolsville share borders with Douchetown?
matt98_fml 13
Seems like your girlfriend had a little bit to many drinks.
eggmarie 25
Hence the word "drunk" in the FML...
matt98_fml 13
Seems like your girlfriend had a little bit to many drinks.
Futacy 30
OP: "Hey, my girlfriend's coming today, you'll love her." Coworker: "Is that her?" OP: "Uhhh..."
perdix 31
The cat should have yelled back at your girlfriend from not going into heat. Your store must be shitty that you don't train the animals with basic debate skills.
poccocurantes 7
Frankly they could learn from each other. I wish my girlfriend would go into heat and my cat would use birth control.
Catkam623 27
Looks like your pussy didn't like the pussy
addicted2_FML 6
Pet stores around here close at 5pm so what time of the day exactly was she drunk?
PincessBoff 6
Considering she went into public drunk, probably noon or so.
Enslaved 38
Muzzle?