It'll fall off in a few days! The dick or the Googly eyes, I'm not sure!

Did he attach them while flaccid or erect? Either would hurt when there's a change in state. Lol!

To be honest, that is pretty funny. But they probably would have come off with a warm bath.

It was. Especially to those who treated him. That’s a holiday dinner story for years to come.

It is funny!! Why did you have to go to the hospital? I guess it’s the one place you can show strangers the hilarious googly-eyed dick without getting arrested.

Googly Eyes make everything better!

You will babysit him for the duration of the marriage.

Well, he wasn't wrong...

You didn’t have to do anything, they would fall off eventually. Or you could’ve used nail polish remover to get them off. If you went to the emergency room you’re going to get a BIG bill.

His audience would have been significantly higher than expected, but I guarantee everyone laughed. And so will others who find out in the future. Like me.