Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they'd actually called up. FML
Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
Today, after giving a speech at college, I did the good ol' mic drop. The microphone fell with a loud bang that was heard through the clapping. FML
Today, I had to give a speech at my sister’s wedding. I spent weeks preparing every word. When it was finally my turn, I stood up to the microphone and froze. Instead of something like, "Congratulations, I’m so happy for you both," I mixed up whatever jokes I'd prepared in my brain, and blurted out, “I’m in love with your husband.” FML
Today, at university, I worked up the courage to speak up in a lecture hall of 200 people. I raised my hand, made my point, and felt pretty good until the professor said, “That’s exactly what I said like five minutes ago.” Half the room turned to look at me like I'd just woken up from a nap mid-class. Which I had. FML
Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML
Today, while thinking about something cringe I did, I accidentally said, "Oh fuck!" aloud during someone's speech. The room besides me and the speaker was otherwise quiet. FML
Today, I was selected to give a short speech at a friend's wedding after being told it would only be "a couple of minutes." I walked up drunkenly, reached into my pocket for my notes, and pulled out my shopping list instead. I started reading "milk, onions, toothpaste…" before realising everyone was laughing. FML
Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML
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Top comments
ThreeSheetsGone 12
"...we go down instead"? I need details damnit!
erazzle 0
cause there's nothing else to do in Gladstone.
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Comments (82)
albinoV 1
I think they would have appreciated a laugh
bryanl83 4
Well it appears you should go to America OP. We don't have "colleges" over here. We have universities.
extremenoodles 0
That sounds back to front... Generally over here (Australia) A 'college' is a fancy high school. I can't think of any tertiary schools that aren't called Universities, but I'm probably wrong.
kile88 2
are you retarded?? college is a private highschool and university is tertiary . ugh. so ignorant.
aussie_gemini 5
next you'll say op should move there cos you have cars while we hop around on our kangaroos! lol
Lozzee 0
secondary school, here, not 'high school.'
KiwiDingo 0
I went to a public high school that was a college so how do you explain that one #37???
jess2gd4u 0
stupid americans
LMAOchic 0
Wtf is your DAMN problem #56?!?!?! America has some of the SMARTEST SCIENTISTS/POLITICIANS/LAWYERS/etc. So what the hell gives you the right to bash on americans?!
Vanyaxe 0
OP's from Australia.
Froz3narr0w 0
59, you mad? Stupid Americans.
APurpleWaffle 0
Yep, Amricans are stupid. All we did was have some of the worlds smartest scientists. You know, little things like airplanes, cars, T.V.s, computers, and one everyone loves, peanut butter, all came from America/American scientists. I mean, sure, we're all fat and dumb over here. Just like all British don't know what a 'toothbrush' is, and all australians ride kangaroos. Yep. All fat and stupid.
SideOfTheAngels 23
I went to one of the crappiest public schools and it was called a college. Our private schools are called "grammar schools", at least as far as I know.
saphy222 17
There are also UNI's in Australia called colleges, although there are not many, such as the Christian Heritage College in Brisbane, but yes, for the most part they are private schools
holly_fly 34
I think you got the backwards... Although some colleges do have the term "university" in the name.
Peasanthunter_fml 0
You could have said we are queerlanders
guy0ne101 0
orly?
blcarter81 0
at least it give a literal meaning to 'tubthumping'
ArcticDead 12
makes me think of three days grace one x lol
lexi365 20
How did the audiance react? ;)
jemmawainwright 0
hahaha thankyou for making my day!!
coldram 0
Nig
Avalanches 9
Toxic water knocked my street up! And most of the houses!