Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, after I got a cat to help with my anxiety, it turns out he also has anxiety. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML
Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
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Top comments
hopelessefforts 9
That must be awkward in bed if you know what I mean
perdix 31
#2, did you read the whole story? It's a fear of cats, not dogs.
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Comments (87)
vegeta77 4
j
StacyRenae 9
Sounds like something I'd do. Gotta love tough love. Meow.
gotaplanstan 28
72
Llama_Face89 34
Plus she'll freak out and bolt. Cats tend to hate water.
J08J 20
There actually are people who have a fear of cats?
brittyed 11
My brother had a fear of cats until he was a teenager.
B1ackthesun 31
If you think cats are odd, this --> http://phobialist.com/ will blow your mind.
B1ackthesun 31
BTW, according to the site I just provided Aliurophobia is the term for a phobia of cats.
worldclassrager 41
Pre-therapy? She'll quit just having fun...
jjmiller1001 17
A: get over it B: get rid of her C: get drunk
AngrySailor 17
D: ????? E: Profit!
outoftown 27
If the therapy is because SHE has cats, you may need couples therapy, too. But dumping her and her cats would be cheaper and less aggravating.
Hypertudism 15
Carry a small spray bottle filled with water, when she does it again, spray her. Misbehaved cats get punished.
dannnngthatsux 19
Round my house, bad ******* get spanked!!
Tblankk34 8
Idk about you man but the only cats I like are cute ones on the Internet, the rest... They can disappear for ever!