Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, after I got a cat to help with my anxiety, it turns out he also has anxiety. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML
Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
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Top comments
hopelessefforts 9
That must be awkward in bed if you know what I mean
perdix 31
#2, did you read the whole story? It's a fear of cats, not dogs.
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Comments (87)
Xotoolyxo 16
Find something she's terrified of and tease her about it
buckdharma 38
Sounds like you need a cat carrier.
FlyingPie 17
You've got to be kitten me. I guess nobody is purrfect.
LyraAlluse 25
I think your girlfriend needs to be taught that you just don't joke about some things, deep rooted fears being one of them.
Kc1001 14
you could always dump her or tell her to stop.
davek 36
Don't be a pussy!
MC2NextLevel 7
You must be a "pussy"
jw90 18
Time for the girlfriend to go the way of John Lennon.
lionkat456 28
:.( poor you. I can't not go a day without watching some cat video, wether it be keyboard cat or Nyan cat...
Likian5 26
How can you be afraid of cats? They're adorable little demons!