Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, after I got a cat to help with my anxiety, it turns out he also has anxiety. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML
Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
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Top comments
hopelessefforts 9
That must be awkward in bed if you know what I mean
perdix 31
#2, did you read the whole story? It's a fear of cats, not dogs.
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Comments (87)
Phyre24 17
If you didn't have a fear of cats that could be hot, sadly you do which just makes her a bitch.
rec_chem 22
Sounds like you need a new girlfriend.
lwonderful 11
You have got the be kitten me right meow
brosiph_Joseph 8
If you know what I mean
doge71 8
are you afraid of ALL cats, or just the ******** ones? my cat is a sweetheart that has no balls. ^-^
NickACD 27
Well if your girlfriend is a slutty cat I'm sure you'll get over your fear.
Paws_Cat 29
Meow!
dannnngthatsux 19
If you can't appreciate her humor we only have 3, there's certainly room for one more!!! "no, no, leave the helmet on..."
PopBlox 14
But if she had a fear of cats and you did that you would've been sleeping on the couch