Alex
United States
Today, I had to get out my birth certificate to prove to my dad that today is my birthday. This has happened before. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Abington, United States
Today, my father used my birth certificate as a beer coaster. Accident or not, it pretty much perfectly sums up our relationship. FML
Anonymous
St Louis, United States
Deception
Today, I found out that my parents have been lying about my birthday. Now it makes sense how they "lost the birth certificate" or how many photos of me as a baby are dated before I was actually supposed to be born, because "the camera must've glitched, we must've confused the date we wrote in the back of that card." FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
Anonymous
Cranbrook, Canada
Bad mom
Today, because of my mom going on a drunken adventure, I now have a FBI file. I'm Canadian and my birth certificate proves I wasn't even alive when she pulled this stuff. FML
Furnando
Close to me
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
leenibeani4
United States
Today, at the eye doctor, they asked for my birth date for the files. My dad answered quickly, "May 28, 1994." It was embarrassing to have to correct him with "April 19, 1993." Who's May 28? Way to go dad. FML
Ange
United States
Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML
I-love-my-tea
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Birmingham, United Kingdom
Dangerous implements
Today, I had to show my ID to prove I was over 18. I was buying teaspoons. FML
VedaLynn
United States
Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML
keenan
United States
Today, I had to use my driver's license to convince the security guard at a game room that I was a girl. FML
Top comments
omarzrgz 3
Happy birthday :)
linkinpark98 24
Some dad....
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Comments (66)
LolUnlucky 12
Get him back and pretend you don't know when his birthday is
BeccaHugs 17
Maybe OP doesn't have her drivers license yet.
lrgenesis 19
Wow I'm so sorry:/
Jjjessee 1
He is pulling your leg. It's a birthday game he is playing with you. Get with it. Ha ha good one! I'm gonna try it on my kids.
DrMime 10
One does not just simply acquire lé driving license. One must enter the DMV and do battle with Shinnaquaqualaffa, the gate keeper who is always filing her nails, then you must pass through the paper work dungeon and slay Greg, from accounting.
leilaostara 1
Happy birthday :D
HaniahAhmad 0
err... Well that's some dad... but, Happy Burthday!! :D
ScarletBloom 14
Dad has other children outside. Too many to remember.
perdix 31
My guess is that he's not your real father, and your birthday is a reminder of how your mom cuckolded him. What's more certain is that you're getting no gift from the rat bastard!
Sumo69 9
Your dad just ******* with you seriously he remembers the day you came into this world and changed his life