Today, I had to explain to my one person on my staff why having kids aged 6 to 9 hammering in screws with the butt end of a screwdriver is neither safe, nor a good idea. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to explain to my 27 year-old sister why a stainless steel fork isn't a good toy for my 8 month-old baby. Twice. FML
Today, my husband told me he didn't want me to get power tools to build things, because he thinks a miter saw and a sanding orbiter are more dangerous than guns. FML
Today, our 9 year-old son managed to shoot himself in the gut with my nail gun. According to my wife, this is completely my fault, because I ONLY kept it in my locked garage, ONLY secured in its box, ONLY completely disconnected from the power, ONLY on the highest shelf near the roof. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML
Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML
Today, I asked my wife to keep our toddler confined while I hung a shelf. Of course, she didn't, and he came in and picked up a screwdriver. I tried to take it away, and he ran off giggling, only to trip and slice his forehead open. According to my wife, this is entirely my fault and she is taking him to her mom's. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that if you tell your child that they're old enough to cook their own food in the microwave, you have to make sure they're smart enough not to put the metal spoon in with the food as well. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
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Top comments
bigsc 0
there are so many things wrong with that
ilaleahcim 6
There are so many things wrong with this sentence.
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Comments (86)
Dudelike89 8
This made me LOL.
pikausername 0
SWEEEEEDEN!!!!!!!!!1 YEAH SWEDEN!!!!!! MALMÖ FC!!!!!!!!!1 VE HAWE GOATS IN SWEDEN!!!!! YOU ONLY CAMELS (denmark) DENMARK!! i'm smäkin däpe and rapin dose bitjes all daÿ löng!!!! YOU DONT WANNA *** WITH SWEDEN! YOU DÄNT WANNA *** WIT MË!!!!
SnowFlakeInAK 7
and moderated in 5...4...3...2...
pikausername 0
i hate places like dhis! all danish and asian bitches!!! I love NUMA NUMA!!!!!!!!!!!!! .....
Quest_ 13
Learn to sentence structure.
jobobo 1
??
Tyler_8801 0
fail
jansdo 1
Who cares? it's not a big deal except to you.
truthinlies 1
it is if someone gets hurt then there could be shit down hill especially if op is the employer
mwillx146 0
How is this an FML?
DocBastard 40
I think I sawzall this on the news before, and I think you hit the nail on the head. The kids miter injure themselves on your site, and then you're screwed. Talk to awl your employees on the level, and hammer the "safety" point home. Don't implyer that they are to blame, and let them axe questions. Be fair and square, bury the hatchet, and everything will be fine.
mcnally664 5
quit being such a tool
calcetines 0
29: Win! lol
pennies_lane 6
well if you explained that to them as good as you wrote this fml, I'm sure they still can't see why it's a bad idea.