Miscellaneous: Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the... - FML

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 653

You deserved it 2 457

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Same thing different taste

By Taylor Easley - 17/03/2012 04:53 - United States

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 177

You deserved it 3 146

Thanks bossman

By Anonymous - 11/10/2013 16:43 - United States - Logan

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 673

You deserved it 3 917

By Sadfaic - 23/01/2012 02:59 - United States

Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 633

You deserved it 2 139

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 10:00

Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 75

By bellaskyeb - 08/01/2012 17:42 - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 262

You deserved it 4 243

By No one special. - 12/12/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 489

You deserved it 2 429

Well done

By Anonymous - 17/10/2015 11:41 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 312

You deserved it 4 290

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 652

You deserved it 3 394

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 129

You deserved it 4 660

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 343

You deserved it 14 485

Next

Top comments

Codezlol 21

Saturday 21 March 2015 8:42

Your dad needs to mime his own business

michaelaranda 28

Saturday 21 March 2015 8:31

Sorry about all the trouble op. Hopefully your dad will pay you back the bail and will be appreciative for your help. Everyone makes mistakes when theyre drunk. Not an excuse or justification.

Comments

shinikageWolf 15

Saturday 21 March 2015 16:28

Did the mime cry out for help or was he committed to the art and remained silent?

amileah13 26

Saturday 21 March 2015 18:38

I think it's time your dad gets help. Yikes

TheGatekeeper43 8

Saturday 21 March 2015 18:58

Honestly You just should of let him sit in jail if he has that attitude

MissBoo111 21

Saturday 21 March 2015 19:02

Next time leave him there overnight or until he sobers up. That's the only way he will learn. Sucks for you OP

sassy2085 16

Saturday 21 March 2015 22:55

That's gold.

Ray_of_midnight 22

Sunday 22 March 2015 1:21

So, your dad whacked a mime with an olive loaf?

denden_mushi 11

Sunday 22 March 2015 1:34

Your dad is on to something. If you're trapped inside a box, where is the rope you're pulling going and where did you get it in the first place???

phreaker913 21

Sunday 22 March 2015 2:51

a mime is a terrible thing to waste

wvcheesehead 13

Sunday 22 March 2015 4:24

Actually I think the father was wasted.

rustyburrito 10

Sunday 22 March 2015 5:18

no, he was playing "mime games"

CandyApple88 13

Sunday 22 March 2015 6:00

should have left him in the tank overnight to sober up.

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I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 285

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I agree, your life sucks 34 965

You deserved it 11 988

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I agree, your life sucks 24 335

You deserved it 2 380

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I agree, your life sucks 5 880

You deserved it 319

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

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You deserved it 7 146