Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Today, I was having an intense erotic dream. It was going great until I thought, "I hope this isn't a dream." This caused me to wake up. This isn't the first time I've cockblocked myself in a dream. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Midrash 5
Your nuts...
SkoomaKi 28
Expect that when your getting real head. Never rush a woman. I wish I could have sex dreams, if only I had imagination...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
killer6969 16
Lolz sucks to be u
jlperry31 10
get some more often or at least j/o more
kmoney23 0
Will they heal
Nozzanoggin 6
one of the very few fml's I have literally laughed out loud to. Thank you OP :')
fmlnik 5
What's with all the ydi? I've killed and enslaved people In my dreams
SneezyBear 27
What people seem to fail to realise is that this guy had a DREAM. You know, imaginary events happening in your mind??? I'm sure I'm not the only one who's done really odd things in dreams, things I would never do in real life. How do you know OP is the kind of guy who would push a woman's head down in real life? He DREAMT it, we've all dreamt ourselves doing random shit, are you saying that if I have a dream where I kill somebody that means I am a potential real-life murderer? Can't believe people's stupidity...
SailorSolaris 43
There is no YDI here. The guy was having a dream. The body normally releases a paralytic chemical during REM sleep to prevent things like sleepwalking and such from happening. Nothing here is OP's fault. And guys sometimes do push on a woman's head a bit during oral. Natural response to pleasure.
Gubbon 17
How hard did you want to push her?!