Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
Today, my boss's son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML
Today, I pronounced FAQ as 'fuck' to my boss. I'm not a native speaker. FML
Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML
Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML
Today, I realized my coworker can't comprehend English, or any other language. When I mentioned this to a coworker, they accused me of being an ableist. This is the same person who insults him to his face, knowing he can't understand her. FML
Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML
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Top comments
Grand_Cookie 21
We need a new plague. I vote zombies.
Talientary 8
This will probably offend some people, but oh well. I'm an American. Let's just say that I can name a few different versions of "English" that I've heard that you probably wouldn't recognize. I wouldn't expect much from the stereotypical American. #yoloswaql8rlol
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Comments (96)
wyldwolf 3
Why are Americans saying, "America is number one," again? Number one in what, exactly?
Randomxnp 10
To be fair some of these things are more obvious if you are working in a foreign language, for which you have to learn the grammatical logic rather than simply learning naturally. If you have always written a word a certain way, and thought of it that way, connecting that spelling to the meaning the distinction might not be obvious. This is how language changes.
djinnyf 12
So typical....
Anita2013 7
That isn't surprising. The North American school system is just bad all over. Not to mention children don't want to go learn the bad stuff they teach. I have been saying this my whole life... Yes, I have been taught here with a degree and I still say I learned stupid stuff that isn't even true for the most part or interesting to even care what I did learn to maintain it in my brain.
thatisfuckedup 6
**** me 173, if that's the case then North America's education system is worse than over here in South Africa. Its a damn poverty-stricken hole over here. Yet I still know people in shacks who can make this differentiation. Has it truly gone that bad over there?
MichaelMcSexy 9
I like how everyone hops aboard the anti-murrca train. It's not only Americans with a poor grasp on English. You're bound to find people in any country, regardless of language, that can't speak it for a damn, or understand it for that matter.
Erery 16
Yes, most Americans seem to be unfamiliar with their own language (Butt hurt)
catharsis5 9
Most people learn more about their first language while learning another. Hence why learning a language is encouraged during high school and college. So we should encourage learning a different language. Don't give into the "this is America, we speak English" attitude.
tehdarkness 21
It's terrible when stupid people get to be in charge. Unfortunately, an all too common occourance.
jarockstar27 10
You know what the sad thing is OP? That is not uncommon.....
an3ph 20
I don't see what you're problem is. Your being unreasonable.