Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
Today, my boss's son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML
Today, I pronounced FAQ as 'fuck' to my boss. I'm not a native speaker. FML
Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML
Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML
Today, I realized my coworker can't comprehend English, or any other language. When I mentioned this to a coworker, they accused me of being an ableist. This is the same person who insults him to his face, knowing he can't understand her. FML
Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML
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Top comments
Grand_Cookie 21
We need a new plague. I vote zombies.
Talientary 8
This will probably offend some people, but oh well. I'm an American. Let's just say that I can name a few different versions of "English" that I've heard that you probably wouldn't recognize. I wouldn't expect much from the stereotypical American. #yoloswaql8rlol
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Comments (96)
luvnlyfe 4
The "your vs you're" thing is one of my pet peeves
senkintyhma 3
I feel you. I'm Finnish and I've known the difference since third grade, when our English classes started... Our teacher gave this rule of thumb: whenever you're combining two words and there'll be (a) letter(s) missing, you just replace it with the apostrophe. What DO they teach in American schools?? (Also, what's with the "of" instead of "have": "I should of done something"??? Ignorance or slang or...?)
sadlife_fml 4
The 'of' instead of 'have' is said because when one says 'should've' or 'could've' (or something similar) as a faster way of saying 'should have' or 'could have', it sounds similar to 'should of' or 'could of'. Therefore, many people say the incorrect word without thinking that it doesn't really make sense. Either way... I'm Canadian so whatever.
tbenson0628 14
Slang. Its : I should have or I should've....
RavenTheFoxx 16
As an American, I can say this happens everywhere. "We" have gotten very lazy when it comes to grammar. Your vs. You're is ignored everywhere. But thankfully there ARE people like me who actually care about intelligence.
Erery 16
I detect a run on sentence and a few fragments. ;)
GraphicAustin 8
Great another illiterate moron adding to the stereotypes against Americans
fridabrunnstrm 3
Sweden
aeonsoul 12
Welcome to America, OP
Shmatterhorn 38
I hope that your boss is the nice type, as she could use your correcting her as being insubordinate adn then fire you. Good luck.
ThatFlyGuy93 2
Her being American has nothing to do with her skills in English, America has no official language
tbenson0628 14
Your an idiot. It's english.
NostalgiaFreak9 41
And you just did what the OP was complaining about.
WishForTheWorld 9
'Murica bein' 'Murican. I have lost all faith in humanity at this point.
Ray_of_midnight 22
My parents were immigrants to the USA from non English speaking countries. English was Mom's second language and Dad's fourth. They spoke English better than most people who are born here.