Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
Today, my boss's son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML
Today, I pronounced FAQ as 'fuck' to my boss. I'm not a native speaker. FML
Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML
Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML
Today, I realized my coworker can't comprehend English, or any other language. When I mentioned this to a coworker, they accused me of being an ableist. This is the same person who insults him to his face, knowing he can't understand her. FML
Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML
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Top comments
Grand_Cookie 21
We need a new plague. I vote zombies.
Talientary 8
This will probably offend some people, but oh well. I'm an American. Let's just say that I can name a few different versions of "English" that I've heard that you probably wouldn't recognize. I wouldn't expect much from the stereotypical American. #yoloswaql8rlol
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Comments (96)
Airbell12 11
The thing is when it is your own language you get comfortable and forget things, but when you are learning as a new language you pay more attention. Also, if you learn a language when you are younger it becomes harder to remember as an adult, since you don't spend much time review it (unless you're an language/grammar teacher.)
JingleBelly 5
ROFLMAO
misfortunate17 6
That's just sad. But we just keep getting dumber!
RavenZea 6
That tends to be an unfortunate epidemic in America. The same thing happens a lot with to, too, and two.
anasong4 1
I'm American and I can definitely tell the difference between your and you're, it's and its, too, to and two, etc. It drives me nuts when I see it spelled the wrong way!
SinfulEnd 20
Don't even get her started they're, because its to much for her.
soldiat_fml 17
Few people can actually understand and explain the rules of their own languages, since, as children, we don't study grammar but rather pick it up from adults around us who also know no grammar.
amisenho 11
It doesn't surprise me. There are so many dialects and proud heads in the U.S. that we can't seem to agree on something as simple as a language.
JustNatalie 8
I'm also Swedish, but English is my second language and I've noticed many of America's population actually doesn't know that difference
RandomAndCrazy 11
Some Americans might find this offensive and such but what is also worrying with Americans is that a lot of Americans can find America on a world map that is unlabelled. Try not to thumbs down this comment because you can't handle the truth.