Today, I had the contraceptive implant removed from my arm after having had it in for three years. I was one of the unlucky people whose body sticks to it. It took half an hour to cut and pull a tiny little stick out of my arm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's been one week since I went to get my birth control renewed. It also marks 16 days until I get the half that broke off in my uterus removed. FML
Today, I finally had my doctor's appointment to get my tubes tied. I've been waiting for 2 years. Instead, I found out that my birth control failed and I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML
Today, I found out that I have unnecessarily been using birth control for the past 10 years. A surgery I had following a complication with my first child apparently rendered me infertile, and none of the doctors bothered to enlighten me. FML
Today, I missed an important meeting at work because I was vomiting from painful cramps. Just last week I was recommending that everyone get the implant because I hadn't had symptoms in two years. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML
Today, I had emergency surgery to remove my fallopian tubes. I'm one of the 0.5% of people who get pregnant after having their tubes tied. FML
Today, I finally went to have blood taken for an allergy test I really need. Afterwards, I had an allergic reaction to the bandaid they used on my arm. FML
Today, I re-dislocated my arm trying to get it out of the cast it was in because I didn't want to pay the $50 dollar fee to get it taken off. FML
Today, I have peace of mind that I am not pregnant, thanks to my IUD. It's not because of the effectiveness of the contraceptive, but my inability to touch my boyfriend. I haven't stopped bleeding since my doctor installed it 3 weeks ago. FML
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Top comments
Helenarth 6
And now I'm suddenly scared of having mine out.
amyrules99 7
I can't tell if "sticks to it" was planned or not considering t was a stick
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Comments (150)
perdix 31
If you've used it correctly, you've been able to have a large stick implanted in you for many hours, worry-free, over the last three years.
brewmasterg 34
Anyone who says OP deserved it is a dick. She could not have known this would happen because it's clearly an atypical reaction to the implant. FYL, OP.
scifichic92 8
I read about someone who got pregnant while they had Mirana in, and the baby was born with the implant imbedded in his leg!
alissa222 15
I think the baby has bigger issues than an implant in its leg if he was developed in his mothers arm.
Calyx_fml 22
Didn't anyone tell you. The pull out method doesn't work.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Clearly the doctor never knew about it. Probably explains why he had to cut out the little stick instead of pulling out.
bjf10 22
I wonder if he tried the rhythm method next...
motocommradios 6
Lololol i see what you did there *makes the face*
redbluegreen 41
And there went my lunch.
MetroidSlayer01 8
Hurts less then having a kid
iscahnoemie 3
The same thing happen to me it sucks :(
teej999 3
Oh man, I'm terrified for myself now. Had mine a year and a half. Sorry.
JessalynVictoria 6
Oh hell, I have implanon... I hope mine doesn't do that!
jamandjelly2 0
Ouchy!:(