Intimacy: Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a...

By Anonymous - 09/10/2010 05:15 - New Zealand

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 257

You deserved it 9 783

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Same thing different taste

No kinkshaming on FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:28 - Belgium - Ieper

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 691

You deserved it 9 329

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 689

You deserved it 4 261

Hott

By disturbedgd - 03/04/2017 20:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I had my first steamy wet dream. It involved the Power Rangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 171

You deserved it 1 104

Poor old Kermit

By FrogMyLife - 30/07/2021 14:59 - United Kingdom - Rickmansworth

Today, I've been single for so long, I very nearly had a wet dream about an anthropomorphic frog. A FROG. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 186

Inactive

By inbogota - 06/03/2021 15:30 - Colombia

Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 161

By margelover - 11/10/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 120

You deserved it 9 045

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 13:26 - United States - Manchester

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 324

You deserved it 4 024

Unfulfilled

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 00:00 - Romania - Campina

Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 154

By urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 899

You deserved it 5 006

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 749

You deserved it 4 553

Shakabrah 0

Saturday 9 October 2010 15:54

what the duck

insanestab 0

Saturday 9 October 2010 15:55

haha rubber ducky IS the one

Comments

richieflow 3

Friday 3 February 2012 8:34

Priceless I take it like a champ???

Midnightpearls 13

Thursday 19 April 2012 17:24

What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 8 May 2012 21:21

It's that bright yellow color that really gets me going... Did I say that out loud?

B5B0N35 18

Saturday 3 November 2012 22:12

Whas it a sexy rubber duck atleast?

jennlody 28

Monday 23 June 2014 10:15

I just laughed for a solid 5 minutes. quack quack ;)

athrowaway 5

Thursday 2 April 2015 16:14

Well, you're from New Zealand.

Lady_Shylock 9

Saturday 18 April 2015 4:01

Was it a sexy duck?

adamqwertyuiop 7

Wednesday 23 March 2016 19:00

You really need to get laid OP, and not by a duck

Larinda Chapman 12

Thursday 4 October 2018 3:54

Do you happen to be Mr. Weasley?

Joey Steenvoorden 10

Wednesday 26 May 2021 9:34

Well at least Arthur Weasley finally found out its function

Keywords

Embarrassing Social Media Work Facebook Virginity Sex Intimacy Health School Painful Love Tinder Awkward Dating Skincare Anxiety Relatable Sextoys Poopoo peepee Kids Art Covid Birthday Relationship advice Cars Transportation Family Gross Neighbours Lonely

The Top

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 334

You deserved it 3 581

Today, my grandpa forgot that my aunt set up a baby monitor in his bedroom in case of a fall. I’m sitting in the living room with his wife - who is deaf - and I hear him moaning over the baby monitor. My grandfather was jerking off and forgot that someone could hear him. I wish I could forget too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657

You deserved it 130

The Top

Today, I listened through the wall while my boss had phone sex with his side piece. His wife works down the hall from us, she's the worst, so I have no ethical issues with explaining to her that he "has an appointment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 356

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 161

You deserved it 7 037

Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a 'free hugs' sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 109

Today, during a job interview, I spent an eternity telling them everything about my experience, my character, my passions, and my previous jobs. Next thing I know, the recruiter said, “Now let’s get to the part where you tell us something about yourself!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 135

Today, an old lady rear ended my car the light. Her explanation was, "It's a new car, and when I take my foot off the break, it just rolls forward all on its own! I don't know what's wrong with it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 103

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 155

You deserved it 4 513