Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML
Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML
Today, I got pulled over and ticketed while taking cookies to the local police station. FML
Today, I got pulled over for a broken taillight. When I rolled down the window, the cop asked me if I was smoking crack. When I told him I didn't do drugs, he didn't believe me since he could detect a foul odor coming from my car. I'd just passed gas big time. FML
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
Today, I pulled to the side of the road to take my medication. A cop claimed he’d seen me circling the area several times and gave me a ticket for kerb crawling. I’d literally just got off the motorway to take my pills. My wife is never going to believe I was innocent. FML
Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML
Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML
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Top comments
lindsaymiedema 4
taste the rainbow
angela3222 0
That happened at a school. This kid rented one of the school computers and then the next day they call her to the office and tell her that they watched her taking pills when really they were mike n ikes. And the parents sued them because it's an invasion of privacy.
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Comments (224)
iAmScrubs 19
Yeaaah man, I started out with a dose of one skittles a day, but I've been slowly working my way up. Now, I run my own skittles empire and I'm popping skittles like it's 1999. I'm seeing crazy things like purple dinosaurs.
Iamnotmyself 17
-15 I love you, you love me, were all one big happy family!
Jacobt24 19
I know it probably doesn't matter but you put too many syllables in the last section. Sorry, it just sounds weird to me.
Iamnotmyself 17
-39 Ya I probably said it wrong, but one big kiss from me to you! Won't you say you love, me, too?
Jacobt24 19
I love u too. It's my favorite vowel.
kritz0 10
Idk if this person gets the Barney reference.
Jacobt24 19
*sigh* obviously I did when I realized he accidentally put 2 extra syllables in the song
androiddestroya 7
Jacobt24 I commend you sir for the reference *golf clap*
Jacobt24 19
Getting the Barney reference or the" love u" vowel thing?
DrWrong05 0
reading your profile dude, no ones gonna message your suburban buns bro stop trying so hard.
kritz0 10
Actually there are more than two things wrong with the first line he posted. I would have assumed you didn't, considering all you did was correct him on proper structure, then make a stupid comment on the letter u. Which would have made more sense if they were like most of the general posters in here who opt out of using the word you and use the letter u.
Life_sucks_13 6
And his name is Barney. Lol
IndiRae 9
120- Holy ****. If you were trying to sound intelligent and make a comeback with that comment, I don't think you could have ****** yourself in the ass any harder. I can honestly say you've probably angered everyone that has more than a fourth grade education.
androiddestroya 7
176. absolutely! I with my fifth and a half grade education am appalled
kritz0 10
LOL@176. I'm sorry you did not understand. ;)
weesh40 1
Its the new drug now a days.
milou_fml 6
the red ones are the best :D
Glitterhinoceros 14
YELLOW!!
dAiSyLuRv1029 0
Noooooo!!!! Green is definitely ninja! ( definition: good or awesome)
hotPinklipstick 24
I prefer green and yellow. :) the red taste like cough drops :(
ariannaimelda 7
Stay away from sour skittles, those give a craaaazy trip
j_cat187 20
Yea don't get lost
cutiepie343 7
19 - Your profile pic makes me laugh EVERY TIME!
thatnucca 36
Do you live in Bon Temp?
DoggyDoggWorld 0
**** Tha Police. 'nuff said. :P
bro1oke 0
taste the rainbow.. of justice
StopDropNRoll 11
Well you get points for beauty :D
captianKool 4
Nice pickup line heff
StopDropNRoll 11
Hey leave me alone I'm still in training :'( I was just trying to pay her a compliment
Gnarlltrugg 0
sounds like a gay cop porno... *shudder*
bro1oke 0
hahaha it totally does
BIEBERSLAYER 10
Everyone knows the good pills aren't colorful or round.
bmthpm 0
Um yes they are...
srm0608 0
ya wtf all types of colorful pills are goood !
LaughingAlways 1
Wtf? But that's fcking hilarious!
j_cat187 20
Candyfliping?