Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
Maybe he was talking about ******?
JustJumped 22
He's just trying to make sure you don't get disappointed some day
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Comments (111)
abekj52 9
you could always chop your stick off if you wanted to be more of a girl.
PeachiePrincess 16
Too much information Dad... But at least he was honest!!!
mete_orito 34
Well, it seems we know now who has a short stick lol
TogeBara 12
at least that will teach you not to judge by size. It truly is how you use it that matters.
SkyBlueCloud 21
Haha your dads awesome !
thehuntress309 12
I guess he's just trying to tell you not to get your hopes up for a big one. They're a rarity -_-
gottageek 17
Go to your mom. While size might not be fully impacting if they're digitally talented. You still won't get to England in a row boat.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Maybe what he's trying to say is don't judge by the size? Even if a man has a "small stick " they tend to put add more work then others.
doubleddun 9
38 I meant on the randoms page where the above fml wouldn't be there at all but maybe they would have seen it before and assumed it was a reference to it, you're right. My comment was pretty stupid but I will admit, I just felt the need to point it out.
merik225 14
Wise wisdom...