Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, I spent four hours practicing funny voices. I have literally nothing better to do all day. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Today, I was supposed to go on a date. I have been playing solitaire the whole night waiting for him. Out of 15 games, I've won one. FML
Today, I had a video call with a couple of old friends, but the conversation sort of got boring, so I started mouthing words so they'd think the connection was bad and end the awkwardness. Then, as soon as they hung up the call, I realized I'd left my music on in the background the whole time. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
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Top comments
Catkam623 27
Hey sock puppets are real people too. Well not really and based off my prior logic why were you third wheeling?
gc327072 31
It ended well. They have a real close-knit relationship.
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Comments (133)
SaveCowEatCarrot 14
You sound like Miranda!
juwood 7
I AM a baNANA!!
challan 19
#32 you're right. Only toes.
megaine 10
I would be your friend lol
buddy51 23
Puppet ****!
Grauncho 27
Do the socks have back stories? I want to know the back story of the crusty sock you found in your brother's bedroom.
upsidedownephant 2
Your life socks! LOL!
Perfectg 9
and how well did the date go ?
oniyuri 4
If I were you I would invest in a copy of The Sims 3.
superrocket19 17
I don't see what's wrong with this. Your lonely. So what?