Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, I spent four hours practicing funny voices. I have literally nothing better to do all day. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Today, I was supposed to go on a date. I have been playing solitaire the whole night waiting for him. Out of 15 games, I've won one. FML
Today, I had a video call with a couple of old friends, but the conversation sort of got boring, so I started mouthing words so they'd think the connection was bad and end the awkwardness. Then, as soon as they hung up the call, I realized I'd left my music on in the background the whole time. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
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Top comments
Catkam623 27
Hey sock puppets are real people too. Well not really and based off my prior logic why were you third wheeling?
gc327072 31
It ended well. They have a real close-knit relationship.
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Comments (133)
saffy66 34
Maybe you'd be on a date too if you'd actually answered the phone...
mangoboy1 19
On the bright side you have a new hobby
mb2_native 15
Sockapella group anyone? Found a new recruit.
Jessj958 19
Maybe it's time to find some new hobbies. I am also wondering how old OP is. Nothing wrong with being creative and making so k puppets, but playing with them four hours is a problem. FYL, OP.
NellyFC35 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Damn is it like that?
hurleyjoe 8
And this is what crazy looks like ladies and gentlemen. I foresee cats in your future OP. Lots and lots of cats.
False_Stupidity 42
No, the cats would probably chew up/shred the sock puppets.
ProperPengTing 15
L
cheertrombonist 9
well don't leave us in suspense, how'd the date end??
poccocurantes 7
what is it with lonely people and sock puppets? OP look back a week or so and find the lonely sock puppet boy. You can double date with him and his sock puppet. Of course that could be awkward knowing where her mouth has been.
jogihoppa8343 23
you need to grow up..
Bodzy81 4
We spend our childhood wishing to be "grown up". In our "grown up" years we find ourselves missing the innocents and freedom of responsibility that most of our childhood provided. KCCO OP
gc327072 31
Pfft, I never grew up. I still tell people "i banged ur mom" whilst playing Call of Duty.
LuckBeNimble 19
48- there's a difference between innocent, young-at-heart fun and being immature. last time I checked though, CoD is 17+ so you're good. (; 22- I don't believe "growing up" is the problem. I believe it's the 4hr projection of personalities onto articles of clothing whilst ignoring reality. D: nothing wrong with creative storytelling, just you're cutting it kinda close to crazy, OP.
SuperDanielNL 23
Well if you were to spend 4 hours outside, doing a course in something or going to a gym or something else you, getting out and interacting with things other than socks, you'd be well on your way in achieving a social life. If you however chose to do nothing of the sort I am not surprised that you are living a pathetic life. You need to take action.
BurningGrannies 16
Visualizing sock puppet sex...
Dracoboxer357 36
28- I wasn't until you said that. Now all I can think of is Jason Biggs jerking off in one on American Pie. :p Ugh.
challan 19
It must have been oral. They have those Dick sucking lips.
Fuji76 15
Unless the elastic is all stretched out at the top, #69! ;)