Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, I spent four hours practicing funny voices. I have literally nothing better to do all day. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Today, I was supposed to go on a date. I have been playing solitaire the whole night waiting for him. Out of 15 games, I've won one. FML
Today, I had a video call with a couple of old friends, but the conversation sort of got boring, so I started mouthing words so they'd think the connection was bad and end the awkwardness. Then, as soon as they hung up the call, I realized I'd left my music on in the background the whole time. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Catkam623 27
Hey sock puppets are real people too. Well not really and based off my prior logic why were you third wheeling?
gc327072 31
It ended well. They have a real close-knit relationship.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (133)
kittiemarie 8
Ever heard of the Sims?? it's like sock puppets, with better grachics!
freshprizzle1 13
Along with the ability to pause lol
lethaldevotion 11
"So, my drawer or your drawer tonight?"
TweakerD 4
That's awesome. It takes an amazing mind that can weave a story for that long. Embrace your gift. The world needs people like you. Let us know when your first movie or book comes out.
freshprizzle1 13
So you started playing with sock puppets because you were lonely, but when someone tried to contact you in real life you blew them off to keep playing with your sock puppets? Sounds legit, FYL indeed.
spikekutter 9
if your as old as i think you are, you better start talking to the sock puppets as therapy..
starw0lf 31
That's quite an imagination!
limerx 1
There once was a girl hard to fathom Whose life was so deep in a chasm She cried, "Im so sad and alone... Should I answer the phone? and ruin my sockies' ******???"
13ky13 20
Not sure if making a poem about sock puppet sex is any better than spending hours playing with sock puppets. That being said, it IS entertaining. Good work.
buckdharma 38
The girl sock was well worn and had a lot of holes in her story, so the boy sock is obsessive and won't stop stocking.
Ozxkar 6
Please don't do this to yourself. Go to the mall or something.
TheSofaKing 7
You need help and some nookie