Today, I got marinara sauce on my new white shirt. I went in my desk for my Tide-To-Go pen and started using it on the spot. Turns out orange highlighters look a lot like Tide-To-Go pens when you don't look closely enough. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirt's reflection. FML
Today, I wore a new pair of white pants, feeling fancy. Halfway through the day, I discovered a ketchup stain that looked suspiciously like a heart right on the front. That explained why people kept giving me sympathetic nods as I walked by, probably thinking I'd spilled my heart on my sleeve… or my pants. FML
Today, I had to do my laundry. Being too lazy to separate them into different colors, or even check the pockets of my jeans, I threw everything I own into one load. Turns out I had left a tin of lip balm in one of my pockets. My whole wardrobe is now covered in spots that won't come out. FML
Today, I was running late to work so I started getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I got to work 5 minutes late, which is when noticed a toothpaste stain on my shirt. I thought it looked identical to a cum stain, and the worst part was I was wearing black, so it was noticeable. FML
Today, I did a quick load of laundry so I would have work clothes for the week. I don't have my own dryer, so I dried them in the one in my building. After running out to my car, I came back to find that my neighborhood kids had added 6 sharpies to my clothes. Every uniform I own now has stripes. FML
Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML
Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred them from the washer to the dryer. That's when I realized that the white stuff is my paycheck which I had put in my pants earlier. FML
Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML
Today, pearlescent liquid soap squirted all over my white pants while washing my hands. I have 6 more hours of work looking like I jizzed myself. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
ohhhhshizzz 0
I moderated this. Aw, that sucks. Can't you just tide pen it over it though?
cactus_fml 0
I think people take the phrase F my life too literally. It's not something you say only when your life is seriously ******. It's like something you say when something irritating or awkward or ironic happens, like if you waited for 30 minutes in line to get an ice cream, and then immediately dropped it, and it also happened to land on your really expensive white shoes. On a side note, when I first read this I thought it said marijuana sauce and was confused for a second. Lol, and I don't even smoke weed.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
whatwasthatbich 0
R TARD
redbluegreen 40
Maybe it's time to break out the creativity crayons! Or maybe just teach kids to get to the point, instead of taking up extra word space.
ItsTheKanninbal 0
Lol its just a t shirt....
girlwiththebow 0
LOSER!!!
Shizden 0
YDI for wearing clothes. YDI for having internet connection. YDI for eating marijuana sauce.
shostakovich 0
YDI for being human and having the ability to make mistakes. YDI for a white shirt. YDI for acting immediately on cleaning up the mess. YDI for caring about your clothes. etc
emmmilyyy 0
write a country song and get over it. maybe get some glasses too?
24788 6
Probably should of read the pen.
itsgen 16
hahaha psh i dnt care what #1 thinks this is sooooo haliours and yea i think its an fml haha sry dude you gotta be more careful next time
frozenicecream 0
moron
thelarkscaw 0
i think its fake. i can see almost grabbing the highlighter, but you would totally realize it by the time it got to your shirt. unless you're totally retarded.