Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got slapped by a date because she thought I was making fun of her speech impediment. I wasn't making fun, I just have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, my crush confessed their love for me, and I happily told them that I felt the same way. They looked uncomfortable, so I asked why. Apparently they'd been paid to prank me. FML
Today, my friends told me that my crush was hooking up with another girl. I wouldn't have taken it that bad if he hadn't flirted with me all the time, giving me false hope. FML
Today, I managed to convince the girl of my dreams to stop being so shy, and put herself out there to get her crush to make a move. It worked. And yet as it turns out, I'm not her crush after all. FML
Today, I was gonna tell my crush that I love her, but I found out that she has a fiancé. She kept it secret so I would carry on helping her in her studies, like a fool. She was acting like she liked me, but she never did. Now it seems very obvious. FML
Today, after thinking my crush maybe liked me back, I confessed. He didn't. FML
Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
Today, my friend fixed me up with a guy from her workplace. I'm painfully shy, so I really appreciated it and was looking forward to meeting him, since she described him as very sweet. Once the date got started, he continuously made fun of my speech impediment, until I finally left in tears. FML
Today, I told my crush I liked him. Instead of rejecting me or telling me that he might have felt similar, he decided to pretend to be dumb and clueless and just kept asking who my crush was. I found out later that he knew all along but he just wanted to ragebait me. FML
Today, I finally told my crush I liked him. He smiled and said, “That’s sweet, but I thought you knew I was seeing someone.” I laughed awkwardly and said, “Of course, I was just joking!” Then I immediately tripped over my own bag while leaving. FML
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Top comments
Davids9199 14
Dude **** her and people like that honestly you can do a lot better than that bitch
KneelToMyPotato 18
What a horrible person
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Comments (150)
alfalfalaffa 17
Ww-w-wha-t a-a b-bitch!
MRSwick2525 23
Is that supposed to be funny? Do you think so? Because to me it is pretty pathetic of you to write. Its people like you that deserve to get a punch in the face by Karma. You horrible, nasty, little prick.
kesht1996 12
That's wrong as **** yo
nina0917 26
Omg that's so messed up what a stupid bitch
AletheDefender 15
I think the vast majority of humanity would agree that's messed up
FEATHDUCK 19
**** 'em. You're better off being with people who don't laugh about something as stupid as that.
JesusFreak227 15
**** her, she's a ******* butch and doesn't deserve you. Her friends are bitches too.
mrs_rooney14 2
She sounds like a bitch anyway!! You're much better off.
wolf12king 12
I thought that level of being a ******* **** was gone from this generation apparently not
serenatis23 13
I'm sorry, hun.
mrs_w 3
In a way, this is good because it's better to find out your crush is a bitch while she's just a crush & not after she's your girlfriend. One day she'll run into another bitch (like myself) who will embarrass her in front of her friends for teasing people. I have no shame in saying I've publicly tackled & beat a man in the face for messing with my younger/underage brother about his Tourette syndrome.