Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
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Top comments
sjb_2015 20
Seems legit.
bradleysol 11
Maybe she was already pregnant...
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Comments (237)
my_dog_paco1205 14
she probably pranking you. :s
funturtle23 6
Run. Now.
unlocked_ 9
FDB LMAO
pike1346 3
Simple bro, it's not yours. Don't sweat it
vetisthewicked 9
okay since most of you have never studied anatomy at all, and i see a lot of self congratulating ignorance going on here, then this calls for some clarity: pre ejaculate is produced by the bulbulurethral gland. it serves to neutralize the urine content of the urethra so the ejaculate can pass through without being damaged by the acid content of residual urine. actual sperm come out of the seminal vesical through the vas deferens during ejaculation. pre ejaculate does not, in any sense, contain sperm. however it can wash some residual sperm out with it. this is highly unlikely as urine would have damaged the cells to the point of rendering them either dissolved or of very little motility. the chance of functional sperm in pre ejaculate is almost zero. some men are an exception and release highly resistant sperm that hang in there and wash out with it, but this is most uncommon. you can, however, ejaculate a little and not realize it. even this doesn't happen often if he was using a quality condom, that isn't expired and was stored at room temperature it is unlikely to be compromised. condoms fail when they break or fall off. they don't just fail. in all probability, she cheated or she is not pregnant. the odds of him having impregnated her given the circumstances he described are so unlikely that he has no reason to believe it possible. people lie all the time however. bet on that.
invisibleunicorn 7
i see a paternity test for you soon...
AlexBuddy 2
Been there bro!
tkhenslee 3
Bail
greystruck 4
how are people being ignorant? altho it is very possible for to have gotten pregnant by him the facts that he mentioned are still going to raise speculation...
NodakN8V 25
And what episode of Maury will this be on