Miscellaneous: Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't...

By LucidNightmare - 27/01/2013 05:38 - United States - Englewood

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 753

You deserved it 18 693

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Same thing different taste

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 429

You deserved it 43 457

By mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 851

You deserved it 9 137

By foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 231

You deserved it 7 147

It's a set up!

By Anonymous - 10/02/2023 01:00 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 1 255

HOW COULD YOU?

By mylifesuckssss - 09/10/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 946

You deserved it 5 937

By magicmaster19 - 20/06/2019 14:30

Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 769

You deserved it 248

By Username - 16/12/2011 06:31 - Canada

Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 653

You deserved it 33 228

By kp - 17/10/2011 00:47 - Australia

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 885

You deserved it 58 741

Nice try

By Anonymous - 05/10/2014 17:29 - United States - Kent

Today, this girl I've been talking to texted me, saying she was going to visit. Trying to be sweet, I bought her $50 worth of chocolate and a cute card. Turns out she meant to send that text to her ex. Seems like the only thing I'll get from this relationship is diabetes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 061

You deserved it 5 454

Coach Class

By GetFuzzy - 18/10/2019 12:00

Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 2 041

carry_on 19

Sunday 27 January 2013 12:03

At least your stalker is looking out for your health...

anabelgraceaxton_fml 15

Sunday 27 January 2013 12:00

You could do so much better, don't cheat on your diet, it's not worth it.

Comments

supportcommand 17

Friday 1 February 2013 23:55

Sounds like maybe someone close to you has text+ and is playing with you.

FelicityWishes 32

Monday 19 August 2013 15:02

Well, you shouldn't be!

WinterBlue42 22

Sunday 15 June 2014 7:56

It must be. . Skynet! Seriously though, that is slightly creepy, especially if you were home alone. FYL!

teentee401 36

Tuesday 26 August 2014 15:53

God is watching

FutBol_Fan_30 29

Friday 6 March 2015 6:39

Run. Run fast and run far and don't look back

walkingdead1 5

Tuesday 7 April 2015 3:58

God??

ali_kkatt 15

Monday 21 March 2016 3:49

"you shouldn't be eating that. -A"

NotSoMuchAnAngel 16

Friday 1 April 2016 5:40

Chocolate is good for the emotional health.

Cavsfodawin 21

Sunday 26 June 2016 17:57

Ughhhh! Shivers!

Heather Shannon 2

Wednesday 22 February 2017 5:36

Do people only care about the chocolate here?! Who the F texted you?!

Keywords

Love Video games Gamers Health Weird Gross Smells First Dates Parents Technology Kids Annoying Jealousy Dogs Animals AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams

The Top

Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 71

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 49 811

The Top

Today, my co-worker and I got into an argument. It ended with him threatening me to roll my balls with a paint roller until they looked like "fresh, popping doughs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 962

You deserved it 1 397

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 142

You deserved it 23 473

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 083

You deserved it 43 117

Today, I told my dad to go to the doctor, as he’s been hacking his lungs up every minute for a month, and I've not had a decent night’s sleep since then. He insists he’s not sick, and my mom yelled at me because she sleeps in the same room and is able to sleep through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 76

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 745

You deserved it 4 163

Today, when I finally got delivered the new kitchen table that I ordered online a week ago, I found out that it was actually a kitchen table for a dollhouse, as I forgot to check the size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 2 677