Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
As a treat
Today, I bought myself a Crumbl cookie as a treat for losing 20lbs. Upon seeing it, my mom screamed at me for cheating on my diet and how I was going to "gain all the weight back" and insisted she eat some of it to "help me out." She left behind a tiny morsel of the cookie with a chocolate chip chunk. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
It's a set up!
Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML
HOW COULD YOU?
Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML
Go away
Today, I got a text from an unknown number that just said, “I’m outside.” Thinking it was a prank, I wrote back, “Cool, I’m inside. Stay there forever.” Ten minutes later, the food delivery guy left, and I never got my dinner. FML
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Gotta have it
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
Top comments
carry_on 19
At least your stalker is looking out for your health...
anabelgraceaxton_fml 15
You could do so much better, don't cheat on your diet, it's not worth it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (134)
supportcommand 17
Sounds like maybe someone close to you has text+ and is playing with you.
FelicityWishes 32
Well, you shouldn't be!
WinterBlue42 22
It must be. . Skynet! Seriously though, that is slightly creepy, especially if you were home alone. FYL!
teentee401 37
God is watching
FutBol_Fan_30 29
Run. Run fast and run far and don't look back
walkingdead1 5
God??
ali_kkatt 15
"you shouldn't be eating that. -A"
NotSoMuchAnAngel 16
Chocolate is good for the emotional health.
Cavsfodawin 21
Ughhhh! Shivers!
Heather Shannon 2
Do people only care about the chocolate here?! Who the F texted you?!