Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I bought myself a Crumbl cookie as a treat for losing 20lbs. Upon seeing it, my mom screamed at me for cheating on my diet and how I was going to "gain all the weight back" and insisted she eat some of it to "help me out." She left behind a tiny morsel of the cookie with a chocolate chip chunk. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML
Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML
Today, I got a text from an unknown number that just said, “I’m outside.” Thinking it was a prank, I wrote back, “Cool, I’m inside. Stay there forever.” Ten minutes later, the food delivery guy left, and I never got my dinner. FML
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
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Top comments
carry_on 19
At least your stalker is looking out for your health...
anabelgraceaxton_fml 15
You could do so much better, don't cheat on your diet, it's not worth it.
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Comments (134)
my_name_is_earl 9
God? Is that you?
theawkwardlife 21
already your stalker is concerned about your health. :)
GuitarPr0 2
Come on man, lose weight don't cheat.
DanteV8 2
I'd be scared as f*ck
theboy13 13
Hint hint idiot... Don't cheat on your diet... I haven't I'm down 35 pounds in 3 months... Cheating won't make u lose weight stupid
gothmo 8
Actually, small amounts of dark chocolate are shown to have some health benefits. Along with the phenylethylamine (the "love" drug) that is released when eating it, it's shown to reduce blood pressure, increase blood flow, it's full of antioxidants, has theobromine which is good for tooth enamel, and is high in certain vitamins and minerals. So, all you spewing on about how it's their fault and what not, I feel bad. What's life without a little chocolate? ;) everything in moderation!
jarrettd 27
It was God. Hahah
mkid232 15
Did you tell anyone to check on you to make sure you were dieting right, and not cheating? If so, maybe they told a few of their friends to do the same, or coworkers or whatnot, and it was one of them who was texting you.
pipinya 8
They're onto you
missd93 6
It's A!