Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I bought myself a Crumbl cookie as a treat for losing 20lbs. Upon seeing it, my mom screamed at me for cheating on my diet and how I was going to "gain all the weight back" and insisted she eat some of it to "help me out." She left behind a tiny morsel of the cookie with a chocolate chip chunk. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML
Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML
Today, I got a text from an unknown number that just said, “I’m outside.” Thinking it was a prank, I wrote back, “Cool, I’m inside. Stay there forever.” Ten minutes later, the food delivery guy left, and I never got my dinner. FML
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
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Top comments
carry_on 19
At least your stalker is looking out for your health...
anabelgraceaxton_fml 15
You could do so much better, don't cheat on your diet, it's not worth it.
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Comments (134)
rhapsodys 12
Nothing wrong with cheating on your diet once in a while, just keep it in moderation.
onorexveritas 24
listen to the anonymous texter! they're looking out for you! *I always feel like somebody's watching me!*
BodyCountEndless 20
Try baking chocolate. It's somewhat healthy, and once u get used to it, its not that bad
perdix 31
You should never give your conscience a cell phone. Back in the day, I gave mine a beeper and the little ****** kept ruining all my fun. Eventually, the batteries ran out and I didn't replace them. Life was good again.
deaddonkey 15
Don't cheat on your diet. I know how hard that is considering I work near free donuts all day. But it's kinda creepy
FMLkaiiden 8
Lmao your conscience sent you a txt message !! Standard text messaging rates apply.
ulissey_fml 22
Cheating on your diet beats ....dying of your itch, yet.
kllmnt 1
They do... It's called the Patriot Act!
penguinazul 13
You do know that eating ONE piece of chocolate isn't that bad, right? Coming from a person who lost 85lbs this past year, I don't even consider that cheating. I can't tell you how many pieces of chocolate I had and still lost weight. "Cheating" is only a problem when you allow that piece of chocolate to completely derail you and you eat ALL the chocolate. And even if you do end up doing that, then just hop back on plan and call it a day. It's not the end of the world, and weight loss isn't about "I can't have that", it's about changing your relationship with food so that you can live a happy, healthy life. Happy, healthy people still eat chocolate, and sometimes they eat too much chocolate, but they don't let it take over their lives and cause them to lose control. However, that being said, if you derail EVERY time you eat chocolate, it might be a good idea to keep it out of sight as much as possible until you've developed a better relationship with food. You can do this; more power to you!
SwtCherryPie 26
Wish I could thumbs up you more. People dont seem to understand that part of dieting.
X_Codes 11
$10 says someone in your household knows how to spoof their phone number and just played an epic prank.