Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I bought myself a Crumbl cookie as a treat for losing 20lbs. Upon seeing it, my mom screamed at me for cheating on my diet and how I was going to "gain all the weight back" and insisted she eat some of it to "help me out." She left behind a tiny morsel of the cookie with a chocolate chip chunk. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML
Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML
Today, I got a text from an unknown number that just said, “I’m outside.” Thinking it was a prank, I wrote back, “Cool, I’m inside. Stay there forever.” Ten minutes later, the food delivery guy left, and I never got my dinner. FML
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
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Top comments
carry_on 19
At least your stalker is looking out for your health...
anabelgraceaxton_fml 15
You could do so much better, don't cheat on your diet, it's not worth it.
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Comments (134)
Harshdfml 14
Reply, "you shouldn't be saying that"!
supportcommand 17
Siri is pretty smart.
notjanedoe 27
Creepy! I would totally freak out. I hope it's just your husband or something :-/ But really, a diet where eating a piece of chocolate is cheating isn't feasible in the long term anyway. Exercise a bit more, cut your portions a bit and adjust your cooking to include more filling grains and vegetables and be less heavy handed with the fat, sugar and empty carbohydrates and you can easily plan in treats like chocolate without cheating at all. Calculate your basic metabolic rate (the energy your body uses to function even if you were sleeping all day) then calculate your total metabolic rate (the energy you use with all the stuff you do each day) and aim your calorie consumption somewhere between the two numbers. You should lose about 1-2 pounds a week. If it's more than 2 pounds eat more because that wouldn't be healthy anymore. If counting calories is too much work or isn't easily worked into your life then I would recommend weight watchers, at least for a while. Their system works with counting calories only they made it easier with points. This is really the only good way to lose weight, no yo-yo, you can still eat treats, no dangerously high weight loss, no slowing down your metabolism. Eating more than your basic metabolic rate is very important! Good luck :-)
MKProcks 13
You should feel like a celebrity. Someone is taking care of you, you don't know him and that person has your number! Woww
sonnyrosa 32
Diets are made to be broken. If you start eating healthier foods, in smaller portions, you can have a piece of cake now and then. I have one cheat day a week when I can indulge in a treat. I've lost 20 pounds in 2 months. Also, text that ****** back and say "mind your own business cheesetwat"
fadingaway 17
Diets are crap anyway. You're allowed to eat chocolate, just in moderation, same as everything else. If you're trying to be healthier, just exercise and eat more foods that are healthy. You don't have to eliminate chocolate entirely. Doing so will just wind up making you binge on chocolate. If you're trying to lose weight, don't worry about the media's "skinny is beautiful" idea. Beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes. The most important thing is that you're comfortable with yourself and reasonably healthy. You don't have to go running every day, just don't be completely inactive. Personally I'd much rather be chubby and comfortable enough with myself that I can have some chocolate without worrying, than be skinny but watching everything I eat and depriving myself of the heaven that is chocolate. That sounds like a really crappy life. Tl;dr? A piece of chocolate is fine. Get off the diet. Everything in moderation.
soph_volleyball 11
Creepy
KiddNYC1O 22
Isn't it okay to cheat once a week?
japtap81 16
I love how ur just expecting people to comment that u could have a stalker or whatever. But u gotta love how everyone is a health freak and has to say oh do this do that yada yada. U should text back that ur giving a bj and ur allowed. Hey it's protein lol
KiddNYC1O 22
Vivid.
meekthekit 6
41- I have a dictionary if you want to borrow it...
TazInYourPantz 13
It's actually good to cheat once in a while. It keeps your cravings at bay. As long as you keep it *once in a while*, that is.