Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I bought myself a Crumbl cookie as a treat for losing 20lbs. Upon seeing it, my mom screamed at me for cheating on my diet and how I was going to "gain all the weight back" and insisted she eat some of it to "help me out." She left behind a tiny morsel of the cookie with a chocolate chip chunk. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML
Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML
Today, I got a text from an unknown number that just said, “I’m outside.” Thinking it was a prank, I wrote back, “Cool, I’m inside. Stay there forever.” Ten minutes later, the food delivery guy left, and I never got my dinner. FML
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
carry_on 19
At least your stalker is looking out for your health...
anabelgraceaxton_fml 15
You could do so much better, don't cheat on your diet, it's not worth it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (134)
sassy2085 16
I know what you did last summer! Creepy
5t3ff1k4h 47
Are you sure you didn't sign up for text message reminders? Mind you that's impeccable timing...
iloveandy143 7
That's your conscience calling.. Er, Texting.
welshjumper 4
Could be your mother. Texting from a blocked number
xmaximusx 12
Look out your window!
Kyo22 5
I do that to my brother hoping to creepy him out
Futacy 30
(-.(-.(-.-).-).-) They're watching you...
powerkeep 24
But cheating on your diet every once in a while is actually a good thing!
BigSexy123 11
You're absolutely right. Stopping yourself from indulging completely heightens your risk of falling off the wagon, if you will.
ZombieInConverse 13
You should text back insisting that you arnt cheating and that you and your diet "agreed to see other people"
gingher_fml 9
This text didn't happen to be from A did it?