Transportation: Today, I got a parking ticket while standing beside my car. FML - FML

Nearly

01/10/2021 22:55

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 3

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 122

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 1 619

29/07/2010 10:56

Today, I got a parking ticket while standing beside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 678

You deserved it 9 390

Mother of the year

Serial killer vibes

Welcome back!

11/04/2011 09:39

Today, my phone wasn't working properly. After sending out 40 texts and getting no replies, I decided to test my phone by sending it a text from my old phone. The text came through straight away. Turns out my phone's working perfectly and 40 people are just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 439

You deserved it 12 199

16/04/2011 22:56

Today, I had an all day volleyball tournament in a town an hour away. My dad left early, not realizing he was my ride home. I'm now stranded in the middle of a rural town with no way home anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 250

You deserved it 4 009

24/05/2016 12:57

Today, my boyfriend's mum begged me to stay with my boyfriend because she says I'm the only one who can actually get him through college and into a decent job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 636

You deserved it 1 026

27/07/2009 23:33

Today, to cheer my girlfriend up after her mother died a week ago, I took her to a comedy club. The comedian's theme for the night happened to be mother-daughter relationships. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 632

You deserved it 7 977

22/02/2009 14:37

Today, I was at a party and all my friends started asking me ways they could leave so no one would notice because the party sucked. It was MY party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 491

You deserved it 7 431

05/10/2009 18:53

Today, while in the drive-through for Taco Bell, I hit the car behind me after forgetting my car was in reverse. It was in reverse because I was worried the old lady in front of me was going to forget she was in reverse. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 396

You deserved it 45 450

30/11/2016 10:48

Today, I finally went to the doctor for a condition I've had all my life. Turns out it was easily cured with a simple pill. I peed in my pants everyday for 27 years for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 136

You deserved it 5 744

01/06/2010 16:43

Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 893

You deserved it 4 483

09/08/2009 01:56

Spicy

Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 041

You deserved it 3 386

01/09/2011 07:07

Spicy

Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 624

You deserved it 4 765

21/07/2012 15:08

Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 416

You deserved it 3 712

20/03/2013 10:59

Today, a guy left flowers on my doorstep. I got home to find my dad claiming he bought them for my mum. I told my parents they were mine, they laughed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 784

You deserved it 3 131

Nutty

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:01

Spicy

Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 237

15/03/2010 16:44

Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 025

You deserved it 3 481

18/10/2015 00:49

Spicy

Today, I was sexting my boss. I realised that I wasn't texting my boyfriend after I'd sent 2 nudes, and received many sexually provocative responses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 028

You deserved it 18 862

27/02/2010 10:15

Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying the make chitchat, he says "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 061

You deserved it 4 243

01/06/2017 18:00

Today, I'm a youth worker. I drove 7 hours to visit a teenage girl I have been working with, and who recently moved. Due to roadworks, it took me 2 hours longer than expected. When I arrived, she told me to fuck off and closed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 090

You deserved it 530

02/03/2009 04:20

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 698

You deserved it 4 431

15/04/2009 01:16

Today, I was carrying some luggage downstairs to put in my car to head back to college. My brother told me my shoes were untied. He said he would tie them for me as I was carrying luggage. I fell down the stairs because he thought it would be funny to tie them together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 795

You deserved it 11 146

Because I'm worth it

By creepingjennie - 07/06/2020 02:11

Today, I discovered that head lice shampoo can remove the dye from your hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 391

03/11/2016 20:42

Today, I climbed to the top of the tallest building in my city with this guy I really like. He spotted the girl he had a crush on, and wouldn't shut up about her for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 895

You deserved it 984

19/09/2014 08:58

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 013

You deserved it 6 006

18/02/2017 21:00

Today, I learned that "prima donna" was not in fact "pre-Madonna" like I'd always thought. My family won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 558

You deserved it 2 958

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 60

15/10/2017 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and roommate got into a fist fight over a magic trick. They ended up putting a huge hole in the wall that's going to be expensive to fix. We're renting my boss's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 366

You deserved it 419

27/01/2009 00:21

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 421

You deserved it 4 674

03/10/2010 00:12

Today, my boyfriend wanted to prove how honest he is so he showed me numerous texts in his phone where he told other women he was in a relationship before asking them to sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 477

You deserved it 3 339

28/02/2014 21:26

Today, I confessed my love for the girl I like, on the forum she moderates. She responded by banning me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 536

You deserved it 16 422

RIP x 2

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 06:54

Today, my mother-in-law passed away. She wasn’t even cold yet when my wife told me she wanted a divorce. Apparently, only her mother guilt-tripping her kept us together the last few years, but now she’s dead, she’s dumping my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 105

It's love

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 01:01

Today, I realized my cat has a foot fetish. She keeps randomly flopping over on my feet while I'm walking, and will lick my toes if I am barefooted. I have absolutely no idea where this came from, but it makes me super uncomfortable. Even my other cat looks at her like she's gone insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 135

15/03/2016 03:42

Today, I was talking to people around school to make new friends. I met an amazing guy and we really hit it off. He was fantastic in every way, but decided to end our conversation with, "We shall meet in the afterlife!" I don't know if I should be scared or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 590

You deserved it 1 671

18/05/2009 05:12

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 645

You deserved it 56 669

04/03/2014 22:41

Spicy

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 082

You deserved it 6 681

07/05/2015 21:43

Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza and ended up falling asleep on my coach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 721

You deserved it 27 954

25/07/2015 02:04

Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 789

You deserved it 5 468

04/05/2015 14:49

Today, I got yelled at for 'letting' my muddy dog jump on my cousin's wedding dress as she was getting ready. I don't own a dog and haven't since I was a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 684

You deserved it 2 381

19/07/2013 04:29

Spicy

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 184

You deserved it 3 137

20/05/2013 04:47

Today, I'm planning my big sister's wedding. My long-term, live-in boyfriend walked by and saw me looking at the wedding tab on Pinterest, smirked, and said, "Don't get your hopes up." I had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 085

You deserved it 8 277

Overreact much?!

By Kohsukeff - 06/12/2020 20:02

Today, my dad called me a "worthless human being", and told me that I'm "better off committing crimes and living life in a prison cell", all because I haven't gotten into the industry I studied for right out of college. I'm currently at a temp job doing accounting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 56

14/07/2011 20:14

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 405

You deserved it 51 183

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Thursday 29 July 2010 20:19

I don't see why people are always so upset at cops when they get a parking ticket. It's your own fault for parking where you aren't supposed to.

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Thursday 29 July 2010 20:49

I assume it is not illegal to stand next to one's car, therefore you must have been ticketed for parking your car illegally. Standing next to your car does not change the illegality of the act. When the car is not in motion, the keys are not in the ignition, and the driver is not in the driver's seat, then the car is considered parked. It is as simple as that. Standing next to the car just made it easier for the cop to hand the ticket to you instead having to place the ticket on the windshield.

Comments

Blahp 0

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:21

FYL. Kind of crazy cop though.

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:22

are you blind, how could you miss that?

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:27

don't make fun of blind people douche bag

chuk_norris_fml 0

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:29

Didn't you see the sign that said "No Standing Anytime"?

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:34

it's funny because you were next to your car but you still got a ticket for being there that long

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:35

no shit fucktard

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:39

Haha wow. I got 2 parking tickets while my car was parked in front of my house and I was sleeping. Good times, right?

roflinyourwaffle 0

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:40

15, you fail.

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:50

15 that's getting old

Trollz4daLULZ 1

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:53

See, it's funny b/c he says exactly what's funny about the FML.

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:54

Stupid keypad is not disappearing.

pleasenopuffin 0

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:58

OP should read jalopnik. Some guy from Australia had the same thing happen just recently and sent the govt a great letter.

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Thursday 29 July 2010 21:21

shouldn't have been raping it

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Thursday 29 July 2010 21:57

is funny because 15 doesnt get the reference

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Thursday 29 July 2010 22:52

shouldn't have been a cheap ass... pay for your parking.

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Thursday 29 July 2010 22:59

ydi for not speaking up

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Thursday 29 July 2010 23:41

19, how the hell is that in any way close to what happened to the OP?

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Friday 30 July 2010 0:24

YDI for having legs.

xXThat_One_GuyXx 0

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Friday 30 July 2010 1:21

this guy cracks me up. lol

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Friday 30 July 2010 1:30

hey 26, mine isn't either... daag on iPod... oh, and my mom got a parking ticket while in it waiting for someone to pull out while I was in GameStop waiting on line to get a game. Damn cops can't find the double Parker right in front of her not even in the car, but she gets one for waiting to park.... and the keyboard only closes if u exit the app...

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Friday 30 July 2010 2:20

59, I was basically saying that cops suck for giving tickets when you're standing next to your car, or when your car is in front of your own house. I didn't really say that but that's what I meant D:

Trollz4daLULZ 1

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Friday 30 July 2010 2:58

soooooooo, what you're saying NOW is that you want to post your full name, SSN, mother's maiden name, and date of birth for all to see? I mean, you didn't SAY any of that, but that's what you MEANT, right?

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Friday 30 July 2010 3:20

something similar happened to me with the university. I parked in a parking lot I wasn't supposed to so I could turn in a paper on time. when I came back the guy had already written my ticket. at least I got my paper turned in.

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Friday 30 July 2010 6:56

well that cops got nerve... and why is everyone mentioning #15 O.o

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Friday 30 July 2010 7:38

wow !

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Friday 30 July 2010 8:58

Keep up the good work Lego.

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Friday 30 July 2010 9:15

It's funny because 15 fails and it's funny because he's stating the obvious to be funny and your a dumb fuck :)

guiltypleasure12 0

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Friday 30 July 2010 10:26

what is the reference where he says "it's funny because...". ?

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Friday 30 July 2010 17:10

I got a parking ticket while in my car

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Saturday 31 July 2010 12:20

81; the reference is Fuad from family guy. Indiana must have some harsh parking laws if the cop ticketed you while u were right beside the car, unless what u really meant was that u ran up beside the car when u saw that u were getting ticketed cause as soon as they put ur plate # in ur getting the ticket, END of story, try disputing it in traffic court, what do u have to loose?

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:21

That sucks

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:55

it's funny because 15 is oblivious

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Friday 30 July 2010 16:43

Or he s just really slow and an immature kid

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:21

Doesn't matter where you were standing. You still broke the law.

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:44

Agree. You deserve it even more for not wanting to take responsibilaty for your faults.

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Friday 30 July 2010 15:55

The FML is vague... he could have just gotten out of his car and was about to put money in the meter... or he could have not paid/put enough money on the meter and was racing back to stop the meter maid from writing the ticket. One way his life sucks, the other way it's his fault.

ArtIsResistance7 1

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:22

Lovely Rita, Meter-maid got the best of you. You can appeal those tickets too.

Shockskilletz 0

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:24

dont stand by that car its illegal

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:28

take my condolence

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:30

haha wow

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:32

it'd help If you told us why

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:33

Your car was still parked in a no parking space. Who cares where you were, even if you were IN the car. Some people think the rules apply to everyone but them, or have an "excuse" why they shouldn't apply to them. How can this be anything BUT your fault? YDI.

barrelroll1472 0

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Thursday 29 July 2010 19:36

you still broke te law