Today, I got a letter back from the family I will be staying with as a part of an exchange program. Apparently they own a slaughterhouse type farm, and I'm expected to kill one of their animals and eat it as a gift from the family. I'm a vegan. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I have to pretend to be vegan for a week while visiting my in-laws to avoid eating there. While they are absolutely wonderful, kind, loving people, their kitchen is absolutely disgusting, and their food handling habits are atrocious. I’m so hungry. FML
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
Today, it has been my lifelong dream to work with animals. My dream sorta came true. I now work at the slaughterhouse. FML
Today, I was at work training for a new position. The girl who's been training me since I started decided to share about one of her tribe's proud, sacred traditions of eating raw, human flesh. I have another month shadowing her before I can work independently. I'm beyond disturbed. FML
Today, my vegan step-mom found out I ate at McDonald's yesterday. She gave me hell and asked me how it feels to give money to "murderers". All while my dad sat quietly by because he's too whipped to speak his mind. It wasn't even her house a month ago. FML
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
Today, after working all day to make a big vegan meal for my family, hoping it would get them to become vegans as well, my brother thought it appropriate to pass around a block of cheese for everyone to grate over the pasta dish. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML
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Top comments
Grimmerie 31
what kind of animal? and do you have to eat the whole thing? these are important questions.
KristinaKreme 0
Woah! At least they didn't threaten to kill you in the slaughter house! For a second I thought that's where the FML was going!
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Comments (231)
allmidnighteyes 11
Oh no! If you do that, you'll lose your vegan powers! Of course, to do that, you'll need two prior offenses of stuff like gelato and chicken parmesan.
kingtz 6
Lol, that movie sucked, but I still liked your reference.
JustOhSoLovely 6
your comments are on like every fml and they crack me. just wanted to let you know!
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
What planet are you from? Scott Pilgrim is the shit!
jadee000 0
Then say that you are a vegan
stephanie911_fml 0
fionasarah 0
edteach 0
I don't disagree I think pplz who buy fresh tomatoes,avacado's, etc in December when there is snow on the ground and all the country side is winter dead are assholes too...
ReynshineCutting 10
How do you make those little animals!?!?!?
heyred 11
Sounds like their family matching system sucks. Can you appeal to your counselor?
kidclarke 15
Suck it up and respect their traditions.
Domonator 16
You neglected to tell them up front that you are a vegan? YDI
daybowbow 0
Tell them you can't digest it due to an allergy. Lying is the best policy.
playboyintown 4
start eating man!! you got an amazing whole lot right coming to you ! ill throw a barbeque if i was you.
InSovietRussia90 1
1. Props on being vegan. I'm vegetarian, and I can only imagine how hard it would be to give up ALL animal products. 2. If you had to eat an animal at any point in your life, this seems like a great time. It sounds like a mom-and-pop farm, not the kind of disgusting overcrowded factory farms we have here in the US. You get to see the animal and kill it, so you can make sure it eating was healthy and well cared-for and that it was killed humanely. I know you probably love animals and want no part in killing one, but this is much less immoral than buying meat from your grocery store.
Yeoj 0
who gives a **** the animal is going to be killed anyways!!
bobthecheeseman0 0
As someone who has grown up in the agriculture industry in this country (America) I can honestly say that "factory" farms are almost entirely a fabrication of PETA. Many of the main agricultural product producing states have had laws against corporate farming (and by extension "factory" farms) for years, some since the 1950's. Do some bad farms exist? Of course, but if everyone farmed the way the animal rights crowd claims that they do, they would all put themselves out of business! Its simple economics: happy, healthy animals live longer, produce more, and make the farmer more money! OP- BTW, most family farms do eat what they grow, both animal and plant. Calling a farm a "slaughterhouse" is rude, bigoted, and disrespectful to people who make pennies an hour growing all the stuff that people like you put in their stomachs.
DocBastard 40
*hits "thumbs up" on Bob's comment repeatedly*
ReynshineCutting 10
Well said Bob! I'm an equine science major which falls into the college of agriculture at CSU. We deal with this stuff on occasion too. A few weeks ago Temple Grandin lectured in my equine behavior class. If there's only one person in the world who knows about slaughterhouses and meat production it's her. She is the absolute biggest advocate for fair and ethical treatment of animals raised for food. She's won awards and had movies made about her because of her efforts in improving slaughterhouse conditions and the treatment of food animals. Yes there are still some bad places out there, but because of her work, most of them are run ethically and for the good of the animals. I fell into the PETA trap in middle school. 99% of it is lies, and the other 1% is really outdated stuff that is no longer relevant. I now eat meat twice a day, went hunting as a kid, and am getting a new license this fall (and I'm a girl) to go hunt elk up in the mountains. For me personally, I have no problems killing and eating an animal, or eating one someone else has killed because God put the animals here for our use. Not being a Bible thumper or anything and if you don't believe that, that's fine. Simply stating my beliefs.
BigKatt 1
Well it's your fault. now that sounds mean but when you leave the safety net of America you can't be so picky. depending on where your going, get past your "beliefs", kill the animal, or your time there is going to be a lot worse, as you will most likely disrespect them. take the opertunity to learn about their culture. Plus just cause YOU didn't kill the animal, doesn't mean it won't be on the table in front of you for dinner. get past you ethnocentrism and learn about the world around u.
InSovietRussia90 1
Irony: ranting about ethnocentrism after just assuming the OP is American
kingtz 6
How about you stop being a little bitch and eat meat like a normal person? "oh noez...they are making me eat what is probably their prized animal as an honor!!!" Such a first world problem you're making a big scene about.