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  klorehore  |  24

Friend 1: "Did you hear that Liza got engaged? "
Friend 2: "What, no way! How did that cock juggling thundercunt find someone before me?"
Friend 1: "Makes you believe in miracles huh? "

Friend 2 calls OP
"OMG hiiii sweetie, why didn't you tell me you got engaged? I am so happy for you! "

  Alastor13X  |  8

Quit bitching about good rumors, take a page from Nike and Just do it. If your life isn't that awesome, you have the power to make it better. You just gotta put the work into it.

  stevenN659  |  24

well the "rumours" could have been started when OP's boyfriend had mentioned to a friend that he was going to propose, maybe the friend let it slip.

  DocBastard  |  38

You must be A) a soothsayer, B) a pathological liar, C) an annoying optimist, or D) trying to get in OP's pants.

Whichever the correct answer is, I hate you.

  subhaan786  |  19

Ha, that's funny, I try to make something negative slightly more positive, and I'm an annoying optimist just because life doesn't fuck me off like it does you don't mean I can't be happy or try to make others happy, you're clearly not happy, and there's a reason for that, I'm not going to guess what it is that's making you unhappy but I hope you have someone to change that

Am I annoying enough for you?

  abusch  |  9

Wow, way to be a patronising jerk. Somebody is pretty, so if they just smile and act confident they'll find a man? Personality, intelligence, humour, have nothing to do with it I suppose? You, I'm afraid, are a misogynist, and the worst kind at that - one of those who think that they're actually just being 'nice'.

  ShowMeKay  |  20

People seriously need to lighten up to DocBastard's humour. I don't get what's so hard to understand.

Side note:
I love that GentlemanBastard is the person siding with DocBastard. Good to see bastards uniting! Lol

  DocBastard  |  38

Kay - I've always been misunderstood. It's a curse or something.

Subhaan - You're new here, so I'll be gentle - it's a fucking joke. I don't hate optimists. In fact, I don't hate anyone.

Except Chris Brown. Fuck that guy.

By  J3R3MYY  |  14

Well maybe make it reality. Not necessarily get engaged but you should try something more adventurous. Boring and normal is.. Well boring and normal.