Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML
Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
Today, I gave my kid some Pop Rocks. He shoveled a handful in his mouth, then screamed when they started popping and spat them all over the carpet. FML
Today, my 8-year-old son decided to make some rice for lunch. When we had it, I noticed a horrid gritty taste. It turns out, he puts dirt in the rice to make "Dirty Rice". FML
Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML
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Top comments
MorningGranite 3
Thats.....gross
ajmacrae 5
EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!! I just threw up in my lecture when I read that
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Comments (273)
adelephant_fml 12
This actually made me want to throw up. Op your son has issues.
causticgirl 6
I have to agree with #86. That kid needs Therapy. He has serious issues. It takes a twisted devious mind to come up with that as a "punishment" for his parents. He's obviously a closet something
rubberduckie94 13
Yeah because it is so common for teenagers to pick off pimples and feed them to their parents. I must know like a hundred kids that do it. *please read with sarcasm*
rubberduckie94 13
actually, i am raising teens right now so i have a few years on you and some experience. on top of that i have spent years working with psychiatric patients. this is not acting out this is a problem
doumtabarnack 12
I'm normally against child beating but that one deserves a good kick in the ass! Seriously disgusting.
justbigbs 6
You gave birth to a d*v*l
Petertheman 0
I'd give him some good old fashioned smack up side the head
spurlock62 0
Yeah, you should discipline the shat out of that kid.
save_da_whales 0
EWWWW that's sick
ewputthataway 0
There is a very dangerous food war, op. Get all of your favorite foods, a refrigerated jacket, and ziploc bags. Trust no one.
ewputthataway 0
I thumbed you up for the apology :3
hateevryone 15
what the hell? that's disgusting