Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML
Today, I tried to seduce the girl I like by telling a joke. It turns out my delivery was so bad that she asked if I was auditioning for a new version of "The Room." FML
Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
Today, I got lost in a foreign city while on vacation and couldn't communicate with anyone, because I didn't speak the language and no one seemed to be able, or even wanted, to speak to me in mine. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, I had my German oral exam. It was going well, until halfway through I did the biggest burp I could have ever imagined. I don't even know how to say sorry in German. FML
Today, my husband and I went on vacation. We got lost and had to ask the locals for directions to our hotel. Neither of us could understand their accents, and we ended up wandering around blindly for hours until we made it back on our own. FML
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Top comments
fadingfaith 4
Wow, haha. How did you find out you said that?
Molord1 0
Sounds like a strange Porno
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Comments (143)
freshV43 0
That blows (get it)
XxEmoSnowboarder 8
^ No i do not, please explain
btnhdude 0
no, biotch.
EmilyJoSmyth 4
Yeah I get it -_-
freshV43 0
Wat are u 12 how do u not understand the joke
XxEmoSnowboarder 8
^ it doesnt make any sense. dumbass
Xathanos 16
Ah, there's no better way to find new friends, than giving insructions then hoped that you seduced them ;)
Captain0bv10us 0
Be hectic! Be German!
Rizzen 27
no. just no.
koekj 6
YLS for speaking German.
lildecoy19 1
that's more of an LOL than an FML! Hahaha!!
jaff23 11
Nicht gut aber dass ist lustig
audiophileMom 11
Das ist lustig, dass Du den Unterschied zwischen das und dass nicht kennst. Don't worry though enough retard Germans don't either.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
Anyone want to translate this conversation?
duckman9 55
das and dass are two totally different words in German, but written similarly. because of that many people get them mixed up. Don't even get me started on the Rechtschreibreform (spelling reform) which was introduced several years ago.. they've messed it up entirely.
achsi 3
yeah, nobody knows how the words are spelled correctly anymore, not even the teachers. especially since they still change the correct way to spell words....
upyourzlolz 11
What if they wanted to be seduced? Then your the worst tour guide ever.
balletdancer21 11
^ that should be you're not your. Js.
TheComputerGuy96 16
I hope I don't get you lost = Ich hoffe, dass ich dich nicht verloren. I hope I don't seduce you = Ich hoffe, dass ich dich nicht verführen.
audiophileMom 11
Being German myself I have two things to say: that's terrible! Don't teach people wrong grammar here just because you're as clueless as the OP. And to the OP: if someone asks for directions in plain ******* English what makes you feel like you're obligated to reply in whatever you think their native language might be?
winmylife 4
"I hope I don't get you lost" can't be translated litteraly, in Germany you'd say "Ich hoffe, dass ich euch nicht in die Irre führe" which is sth like "I hope, I don't mislead you", or "Ich hoffe, dass ihr nicht verloren geht" which is "I hope, you don't get lost"! "I hope I don't seduce you" means "Ich hoffe, dass ich euch nicht verführe". I hope i could help a little, as a native German. (:
audiophileMom 11
Auf jeden bist Du freundlicher als ich ;) Er wird gesagt haben "hoffentlich verwirre ich Euch nicht" nur halt langes ü statt i und das deutsche w als f geschludert ;)
VeganVampyre 27
Audiophilemom- Who said they asked for directions in English? All it says is OP was helping German tourists. I know many Germans speak English, but that does not mean all. It's quite possible their English was very limited or nonexistent, and OP thought speaking German with them was better.
je_suis_fml 11
Audophilemom needs to relax and have a schnitzel...
dave04045 1
ja du hast rechts aber da Sind andere übersetzungen
TheComputerGuy96 16
Entschuldigung for the wrong translation!!! I don't speak German well, I'm learning it. I used google übersetzer, and since the phrases were so similar, I thought they were right. Sorry again!!!
PurpleFrostingg 7
I wonder what they said back. xD
audiophileMom 11
Verwirren - (I hope I don't confuse you!) Verführen - (hope i don't seduce you) It's actually a pronounciation thing OP meant well. Next time just speak the official language of the nation you're in.
je_suis_fml 11
Just maybe OP wanted to practice his German... big ******* deal. Life doesn't end bc he confused the two, and surely he doesn't need to stop speaking his language of choice at the moment. The Germans could have possibly laughed & corrected him...
hywar 2
Except, you know...those German tourists might not have known a lot of Irish ;)