Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, thanks to my wife, our 11 year-old daughter is completely obsessed with serial killers, cults, and true crime. My wife thinks it’s funny and harmless; meanwhile I’m legitimately worried about our child’s mental health. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, my daughter’s sleepwalking has been so bad that none of us has slept more than a few hours a night in weeks. We took her to a pediatrician, who referred her to a sleep clinic for children that has no openings for 6 months. My boyfriend is convinced my house is haunted, scaring the other kids. FML
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Top comments
NiveaKK 9
I don't blame her for watching Supernatural. Jensen Ackles is HOT.
DrDilllonReese 12
At least you didn't catch her listening to One Direction and Justin Bieber, and reading Twilight.That's the ultimate level of brain-dead.
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Comments (289)
dogpup4 23
Kids nowadays watch The X Files? Some faith in this generation has been restored.
AngelicTide 11
How is even having nightmares? Neither of those shows are actually scary.
bstevens1 1
you're a dumbass!
juicifer 0
Kick her outtah bed and tell her the truth is out there...
kenta_fml 0
Dafuq?! I watch Supernatural and I'm considered a geek because of it
Cablo_Gubla 2
If an explanation of the reality that true acceptance is only possible by being yourself and associating with like-minded individuals fails, you should consider a late, late, late abortion. It appears that I'm suggesting murder, I know, but late abortion makes it sound more better.
Nicole_Renee 7
Those are two great shows, sounds like your the one that's brain dead!
nerdfighteria 7
208- I think he meant the "Incest is Wincest!" and "Keep it in the family!" meme that 38 was alluding to.
goodboygrande 0
You should show her "the fourth kind"
Teh_dw33bin4tor 2
.. She's a brain-dead conformist... For enjoying television shows? Because this makes you a conformist by wanting to be liked at school? I think that just makes you a teenager.