Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I sent an email to my boss about a sensitive project. After hitting send and getting a response, I remembered I'd set my automatic reply to say, "I'm currently out of the office, enjoying a much-needed break from all the idiots I work with." My boss was not amused when he replied and got the automatic email in return. FML
Today, after returning to work from a week-long sickness, I sent out an apologetic email to all of my clients to explain my lack of communication due to absence. I realised afterwards I had put the subject line as 'Absense'. And sent it to all of my clients. FML
Today, on my way out to go on vacation, I set up an out-of-office auto-reply on my work email, which said: “Gone fishing. Don’t bother me unless someone dies.” The first person to receive it was a client whose grandfather had just passed away. He wasn't best pleased, judging by the angry email he sent in response. FML
Today, I set an out-of-office auto-reply for my work email saying, “Currently out of the office, pretending to care somewhere else.” I forgot to turn it off. My boss emailed me three times before I noticed. FML
Today, I e-mailed an employer to ask about a job I had applied for earlier. The employer in question was on vacation. The person who replied had the position which I had applied for mentioned in their signature. FML
Today, my boss tested a candidate for my current position while I was out of the office. How did I find out? I work in HR and the test results were sent to my email. The reason I was out was to have emergency surgery. Now I get to recover and job search at the same time. FML
Today, I noticed a prospective employer I had been networking with changed her last name on her e-mail signature. I wished the aquaintence congratulations on her new marriage. Her divorce was finalized this week. FML
Today, I was texting my mom about a surprise visit, and autocorrect changed "surprise" to "surgery." I hit send before noticing, and now she thinks I’m planning some major medical procedure, and has been calling me nonstop to check if I’m OK. FML
Today, I got back from a holiday to find that my coworkers had prepared a “Welcome Back!” surprise. I pretended to be excited, only for them to awkwardly whisper that it was intended for another coworker, who was on her way back from maternity leave the same morning. FML
Today, I sent an angry email to a client who has been ghosting us for weeks. I ended it with, “Frankly, your lack of communication is unacceptable.” Five minutes later, I got an angry text message, saying, “Hi, I’m currently in the hospital recovering from surgery. I’ll respond as soon as I’m able, so take a Xanax.” FML
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Top comments
KayBo 13
At least the people you work with have a sense of humour, even if it is at your expense, Crystal.
_ebbonyy 11
Hahah sorry OP but you've got to admit, it is pretty funny :)
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Comments (129)
groupleader 7
See you in two weeks, Crystal.
stewpididiot 11
Well, crystal needs to come out as a lesbian!
ElricMustang 23
Don't you have a password on your computer, Crystal?
thatoneguy79 10
I hear that Brazil is very nice this time of year. A great place to relax and recover. Maybe your co-workers were indicating that you will return from your vacation with a bubbly and sparkly outlook on life. And if you follow 24's suggestion, some killer heels.
AhmandahAnarchy 5
Could change your last name to Skull amd pretend your other "self" is Indiana Jones. Slay everyone looking for the "Crystal Skull". But thats jus me.
vbmg152 19
Okay! That's hilarious!! In fact, it's genius!! Lol!
coe08 6
Crystal isn't a bad name it's my name thank you
Rainbowbright99 4
Get an annoyatron from thinkgeek. Drove my boss insane with that thing for 2 weeks. It will get them back.
hateevryone 15
They are jerks for that.
xPlayerofDeathx 0
Think of it this way... Boobs=money. Men like boobs, so already your pals think you got nice ta-tas. Hey, who knows? You may get tons of gifts, come home, use all the gifts, and tell your pals it failed.