I'd say dump him, sounds like an asshole.

Can't blame him for being a guy... But that is a serious no no.

dump him

6, so "being a guy" excuses lying to your significant other and being a creepy peeping Tom?

Voyeurism isn't that out there for a fetish... But he really shouldn't have lied to the OP.

how is he an asshole for having a problem he can't control?
after i had sex with a specific girl 3 times, i couldn't get it up with her anymore and just moved on. the initial excitement can move you past turnoffs, such as club hookups with landwhales.

#6, he needs to be a MAN, and have respect for his partner. "Being a guy" isn't an excuse for being a pervert, and apparently a liar.

35- He isn't an asshole for not getting it up with OP, he's an asshole for lying about it and spying on people

I was with you until you spoke the phrase land whale, 35. Don't be a dick. Sometimes, guys aren't attracted to someone, and vice versa. If that's the case, it's not fair to either of them to stay together. OP deserves someone who wants to get intimate with her and not make up lies and excuses.

1. Sounds like he was trying to spare her feelings about not being turned on by her anymore. Imagine how hard that is to tell someone you've been with for 3 years. Maybe he was working up the courage or doing something else to make her be more attractive to him. We have no idea what his side of the story is.

2. If there is a naked girl in the window across from me, I'm going to go ahead and look. Hell, there is an entire Seinfeld episode about that very thing. All the "pervert" talk needs to stop, he was being human. Let he who would not look throw the first stone. Whether he should have had an erection and be looking, that might be getting a little creepier, but not by much.

No, 69. Most people actually would not spy on other people while they're getting undressed without their knowledge. That's creepy, and it violates their privacy. We're not part of your creepiness.

Your post number's pretty ironic, though.

#69, things such as self control and respect for others do exist. Sounds like both you and OP's boyfriend need lessons on the topics.

#76 I hate to break it to you, but every man will look. It's not just me and her boyfriend. We're talking out of the entire population of men out there, 99.9999% will look. It doesn't matter if the man is in a happy relationship or not. Personally I wouldn't just look, I'd call my girlfriend over to look, and I guarantee you she would come by to check out the scene. We'd have a laugh, and then go back to our lives. A friend of mine recently got married. He sends his wife videos he watches, if you catch my drift. I hope as you get older, you learn to be okay with your sexuality and that of your partner.

#79 it's great to know you speak on the behalf of the entire male population

#84 Not the entire male population, just 99.9999%.

#84 show me a man who says he wouldn't look, and I'll show you a man that's lying. Doesn't even matter if he's gay or not.

#74, If a woman undresses in front of an open window she is wanting to be seen. It wold be impolite not to watch.

it is not spying if the neighbor is leaving the shades up....that's an invitation. ..

This sounds like it also could be an insecurity issue to me, where for whatever reason when he's seeing the neighbor is not a factor - maybe the whole experience makes him feel in control or something. I also think that if somebody changes in front of a window, they are at least open to the fact that they will be seen. Bottom line on the relationship, 3 years without physical intimacy is a long time for both off you too be missing out, and your communication is to blame

my 2 cents goes in Strike's corner. Most ppl woul look.

I don't look,and I'm serious,think I'm wrong? Go fall in a ditch.

You should really confront him about that :/ sorry about that. Hope you'll get everything sorted out! You deserve better :)

OP that's disgusting and creepy. that is highly disrespectful to us women. you should let the girl know and tell her what your bf is doing. I would even get the police involved. your bf needs to understand boundaries.

We'd all have a look if we had the chance

#28 or maybe just tell the girl to invest in blinds...

28 You sound more vengeful then just in your comment. I hope you are not in a position of power or judgment over others.

I agree with 1... Sorry OP! Time for a new guy?

Is your neighbor a guy?

25, are you referring to me or OP?

Just curious how old he is... Sounds like a 12 year old's excuse for a 60 year old's problem. Bottom line is he's a liar!

Liar liar pants in fire, better go dump him before it's too late!

What a filthy liar.

Or he could be gay. We will never know.

A wise man once said, 'Liar liar pants on fire'

And another wise man said "I don't care, I don't care, I'll just buy another pair."

And another wise man once said "I don't care. I don't care. I'll just buy another pair."

And I posted my comment twice...... fuck.

So clearly Op needs to light his pants on fire. ;)

Of only liars pants really did catch on fire.

I'll be out of pants...

It's a very sensitive subject. How many times have you said, "Yea, that tastes great!!!" without meaning a single word of it. If he's been with her for three years, imagine how hard it would be for him to tell her she doesn't turn him on anymore?

67 does have kind of a point. People commenting on this FML would be saying much worse stuff about him if he had flat out told the OP that she just doesn't turn him on anymore.

#67 - this is not a sandwich, it's a relationship. This is not a one-time little white lie. Do you think honestly telling her would hurt more than finding out he's been lying when she catches him with an erection looking out their bedroom window at another woman?

Exactly, it's a relationship, making telling her something like that all the harder. Do you really think he expected her to catch him? I'm not even sure that's hurtful, more like very embarrassing for him. And embarrassing things happen in long term relationships. I've seen really embarrassing things happen to my girlfriends, and they've seen me doing embarrassing things. We laugh and move on, it's all part of a relationship. They need to figure out why she's no longer attractive to him. And if it's something they can't fix, then it's time to move on, attractiveness is a huge part of a relationship.

Also I don't get all this crap about him looking at a naked neighbor. Every single guy looks at porn. The only difference here is the girl possibly didn't know she was being seen. And for all you know, she may have had those drapes open on purpose. I don't understand why so many people are having a hang up about this. It's like the girls who wear tops that only cover the nipples and are surprised that guys stare. You open your drapes while naked, we'll stare.

73, the point is that maybe OP's boyfriend still loves her, and could be embarrassed that she just doesn't turn him on. Maybe it's something he has been working on because he wants to stay with her. Lots of people have this problem when in long term relationships. Sometimes it's just a simple fix by trying spicier things in the bed, and sometimes it's something that just can't be fixed. All number 67 is trying to point out is that maybe he was lying to her to spare her feelings because he really does love her. And regarding OP's bf peeping through the window, it could have just been a quick glance. And lets face it, most men are going to look anyways and don't go on about all that "omg he is such a creeper" rant, because this is something that is just in the basic human nature.You can't all very well say you haven't at least one time spared someones feelings you loved, whether it was a family member or a previous bf. We don't know the whole story so it's not really right to assume that OP's boyfriend is a disgusting, lying creeper.

Wow, yeah. Guys might look. And then a respectful man will look away. But they're not going to sit there and watch until it works up an erection. call it what you want, that is being a creeper, and the neighbor possibly wanting whoever to see doesn't make it ok, that just makes her an attention whore. Let's quit blaming what we do on "human nature" and instead recognize our actions as what they are, choices.

is he bored with you? that could be why he doesn't get it up for you. either way, it's a problem.

Dump his perverted arse.

Maybe you can talk to him and spice up the wardrobe a little bit ?

This * 10. If you don't try to fix this part of the relationship, and it will likely require input from both of you, it will be over. So far all that's happened is you've seen some signals that there is an issue, but nothing bad has actually happened. Him looking at a naked girl across the street is something you should laugh about. Get a little upset he didn't call you over, to calm the situation down and make him more comfortable.

There's nothing wrong with trying to spice it up every now and again! Ask him what he wants and likes, and go from there! If all else fails, maybe it's time for someone new.

We clearly know what he likes, and that's voyeurism.