Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad at me, they do it on my furniture. So far, they've done it on the table, my bed, and all the living room couches. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML
Today, my kids decided to draw on the walls with permanent marker, and now my house looks like a modern art exhibit. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML
Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee. When I went back, my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, God knows where, since I don't own a permanent marker. She'd then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs and as an added bonus the TV screen. FML
Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML
Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter-in-law pegging my son, who was tied to the bed. You know, I try to be open-minded and figure they can do whatever between themselves, but maybe not in my spare room? FML
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Top comments
TheOthin 0
I can't be the only one who missed the "in law" bit at first.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
maybe you should do it in THEIR bed
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Comments (151)
rocker_chick23 27
I am shocked at how many of you dumbasses thought this FML was talking about incest. Let me dumb it down for you. OP's son was ******* his WIFE on the furniture, not his sister.
prettygurl89 16
Quit pissing them off lol
ModernaParker 5
how many living room couches do you have?
PissyBitch Daily 13
That's just disgusting. It screams "trashy people with bad upbringing."