Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML
Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML
Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML
Today, I made a friend on an online chat. We got along fairly well and even traded Facebook accounts. I found out that the two of us had a lot of very surprising things in common. We were the same age, we were from the same school, and we even had the same boyfriend. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML
Today, I wrote a Facebook post venting about the horrible things I've been going through lately, hoping my friends would console me. I discovered that my English teacher from 30 years ago, the creepy dude who keeps asking me out, and some random chick I don't even know are my only "friends." FML
Today, I came home from work and turned on the computer. I logged onto Facebook and saw I had a bunch of notifications. Turns out, everyone on Facebook knew I was single before I did. FML
Today, I found an old friend of mine on Facebook. After adding her, I suggested friends for her. She ended up adding every single one I added, but not me. I later saw her ask one of those friends who the hell I was and how I knew all of them. We used to eat lunch together everyday. FML
Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
I think, therefore I am... alone.
MisterMichael 9
Well if you've never met some of the people you friended can you blame them?
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Comments (51)
picante72 24
Social media sites are full of fake profiles and robot programs. Twitter has millions of fake followers. You can even buy 1000 followers for $5. Celebs and corporations buy them to look more popular and profitable to investors. In the case of Myspace and Facebook you have pedophiles posing as young attractive people. This is known as catfishing. Maybe its best that you stayed off these sites for most of your life. The web is crazy.
jonnyscash 12
But you haven't existed for over 40 years...
skyeyez9 25
You are lucky. I used to have weird neighbors who sheltered their two homeschooled kids to the point they were forbidden to use the internet, watch tv (only allowed to read books that mom approves), only handmade toys or toys that existed in the colonial days (marbles, pick up sticks, jacks), no name brand clothing and no friends unless they were Christians and went to their church. Despite being fairly well off financially. The kids' bedrooms were very plain and bare with crappy old furniture. The parents had nice stuff though.
danial1214 21
sounds like the aumish
JustAGirlOnFML 11
Did you just describe an Amish or Mininights (not sure how to spell it) family?
monagro 22
Don't befriend anyone who isn't your friend...
_krystallynn_ 11
you added your friends friends? thats creepy. youve probably never met them. dont be weird.
Ibeatmyself 3
That's awesome u could do some much with that
kamshafts 2
Is your name jake king? If so...I'm sorry about that!
Frustrated78 11
Word of advice...do not friend anyone you don't know in real life or haven't known online that long. And make sure all of your privacy settings are set so only you and your friends can see stuff.
Satoaoi 13
don't trust facebook
RoboCunnilingus 23
It's been brought to my attention, that my comment, "Too cool to be real" was moderated because I'm questioning the veracity of the FML. What saddens me is that on an FML about a guy who's being accused of being a fake page, THAT is what you got out if my comment. -sigh- I don't want to insult your intelligence(too much), but surely you can see how damned ridiculous that is. Maybe tell me next time? Smh...