Health: Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so...

By gottaflossmoreoften - 13/04/2015 15:40 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 553

You deserved it 5 754

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Same thing different taste

Foot meet mouth

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 15:44 - United States - Ridley Park

Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 447

You deserved it 7 815

By Vxale - 29/09/2011 17:20 - United States

Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 656

You deserved it 3 049

Take it while you can

By thanks..? - 03/11/2018 17:30

Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 342

You deserved it 224

Take what you can get

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 00:30 - Netherlands

Today, I got the most action I've had in about 3 years when my dentist pressed her boobs against the top of my head to fill my cavities. I really need to get me a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 157

By pain in my gums - 27/02/2017 11:30 - Canada - St. John's

Today, I went to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth removed. The surgeon took a better X-ray to see what he was dealing with before he got started. When he came back into the room, he started to laugh and told me it was my lucky day because in the X-rays he found 2 big extra wisdom teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 960

You deserved it 383

By maxkeyftw - 17/10/2013 05:06 - United States - Clovis

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 672

You deserved it 4 294

Smell you later

By Anonymous - 17/10/2009 19:48 - United States

Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 775

You deserved it 2 667

Drilling

By Novocain - 20/04/2009 05:20 - Australia

Today, I went to my new dentist and before he started looking at my teeth, I told him my previous dentist had never found a single thing wrong with my teeth. After looking around, he chuckled humourlessly and called my last dentist idiotic. I now have a $580 bill and a root canal next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 523

You deserved it 5 373

By black and yellow - 21/01/2013 06:32 - United States - Salinas

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 792

You deserved it 45 717

By Matt - 27/06/2010 18:54 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 824

You deserved it 9 926

zAstonish 20

Tuesday 14 April 2015 0:01

Time to start flossing.

imkool136 22

Tuesday 14 April 2015 0:05

Well, I'm trying to think of a clever comment but all I have is you need to take care of your teeth.

Comments

Wizardo 33

Tuesday 14 April 2015 0:32

We need mental and dental floss, stat!

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

Tuesday 14 April 2015 23:48

what's mental floss?

badgercheese94 16

Friday 17 April 2015 1:03

#47 John Green

Cassandra2015 21

Tuesday 14 April 2015 0:36

I appreciate this dental humour, as I am a hygienist .

THEDARKLORDOFALL 17

Tuesday 14 April 2015 1:32

Hard luck there

Jason89 15

Tuesday 14 April 2015 2:58

sounds like the beginning of a porno

wakemeupplease 21

Tuesday 14 April 2015 3:28

lol we have a pornographic expect here!!

vikky538 28

Tuesday 14 April 2015 4:20

As long as you don't care. Size does not matter

Teyros 24

Tuesday 14 April 2015 4:31

Too bad OP. You shouldn't worry anyway, not the size of the boat it's about the motion of the ocean.

camillegibson 3

Tuesday 14 April 2015 4:33

Haha

chewebb 8

Tuesday 14 April 2015 5:42

Take better care of your teeth and maybe more people will want to check the rest of you out.

limegreenpoopie 31

Tuesday 14 April 2015 6:50

Floss, bro

gintwinsmoore 20

Tuesday 14 April 2015 8:05

do some dick push-ups or some dick dips.

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The Top

Today, I found out my dentist is retiring. This wouldn't be that big of a deal except that if we want to transfer our dental records to a new dentist we have to do it before he retires and there's a $30 processing fee per person. Three of us use that dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 76

Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 78

The Top

Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 863

You deserved it 3 955

Today, it was my birthday. I asked my mom that instead of a present if she would make a donation to my favourite charity. She said that this wasn't a "proper" present for a 15-year-old girl. Instead she got me a kettle because "ours had broke and you make the most tea in the family." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 375

You deserved it 5 526

Today, my long-distance British boyfriend of 7 years canceled his plane ticket to visit me in the USA. He claims he "doesn't have enough money" to stay for 2 weeks. As I began canceling all the reservations, he called to say he bought a new car and a house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 791

You deserved it 375

Today, I fell asleep at work. I got woke up by my boss with a coffee and a referral letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 1 057

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 425

You deserved it 12 606

Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 413

You deserved it 2 754