Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
Today, my dentist told me I have 8 cavities. I'd jokingly bragged about never having a single cavity for 25 years right before he started checking. He laughed and said, "Well, that lucky streak is over!" then went on to drill the shit out of my teeth. I still can't feel the left side of my face. FML
Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML
Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML
Today, I got the most action I've had in about 3 years when my dentist pressed her boobs against the top of my head to fill my cavities. I really need to get me a girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth removed. The surgeon took a better X-ray to see what he was dealing with before he got started. When he came back into the room, he started to laugh and told me it was my lucky day because in the X-rays he found 2 big extra wisdom teeth. FML
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML
Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML
Today, I went to my new dentist and before he started looking at my teeth, I told him my previous dentist had never found a single thing wrong with my teeth. After looking around, he chuckled humourlessly and called my last dentist idiotic. I now have a $580 bill and a root canal next week. FML
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
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Top comments
zAstonish 20
Time to start flossing.
imkool136 22
Well, I'm trying to think of a clever comment but all I have is you need to take care of your teeth.
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Comments (52)
Wizardo 34
We need mental and dental floss, stat!
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
what's mental floss?
badgercheese94 16
#47 John Green
Cassandra2015 21
I appreciate this dental humour, as I am a hygienist .
THEDARKLORDOFALL 17
Hard luck there
Jason89 16
sounds like the beginning of a porno
wakemeupplease 21
lol we have a pornographic expect here!!
vikky538 29
As long as you don't care. Size does not matter
Teyros 24
Too bad OP. You shouldn't worry anyway, not the size of the boat it's about the motion of the ocean.
camillegibson 3
Haha
chewebb 8
Take better care of your teeth and maybe more people will want to check the rest of you out.
limegreenpoopie 31
Floss, bro
gintwinsmoore 20
do some dick push-ups or some dick dips.