Miscellaneous: Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I... - FML

By FuckYou - 02/07/2012 06:07 - United States - Santa Maria

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 649

You deserved it 54 041

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Princeton

Today, I left my house angrily after arguing over the Super Bowl. I guess karma gets nasty when you wish a member of the opposing team would break his back. I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 787

You deserved it 6 262

No yolk

By eggonmiface - 01/07/2018 15:00

Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 433

You deserved it 503

Caught in 4K

By BrutallyBlonde - 31/12/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 845

You deserved it 56 768

By Eggs - 15/11/2013 05:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 086

You deserved it 3 148

By eggs - 28/02/2009 06:30 - Canada

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 392

You deserved it 9 206

By whatgoesaround - 15/08/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 544

You deserved it 56 382

The Blob

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 17:02 - Germany

Today, I cracked an egg which turned out to have an extremely thin shell, so at first contact with the bowl, it came apart in my hand and the contents glooped right through my fingers, all the way down the kitchen cabinet, into a half-open drawer, as well as onto the floor and underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 276

By stairmaster - 05/04/2011 07:47

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 423

You deserved it 45 858

By JTinNJ - 27/08/2016 11:57 - United States - Parsippany

Today, I woke up and poured myself a large glass of orange juice from a carton and took a big gulp only to realize it was liquid eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 572

You deserved it 3 076

By bit - 30/07/2009 10:01 - United States

Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 481

You deserved it 64 431

Next

Top comments

randomthing 22

Monday 2 July 2012 12:00

You definitely deserved it.

tswizz 13

Monday 2 July 2012 12:03

You were going to egg a house? How old are you? Twelve?

Comments

balzackgoo 3

Monday 2 July 2012 13:43

I don't think Karma is the bitch here.

stonedfishies 10

Monday 2 July 2012 13:52

Lmao. Karma's definitely a bitch and she sure got you back.

fordman22 0

Monday 2 July 2012 14:03

Why waste good eggs on a scumbag? Use used toilet paper ;)

THE_A_TEEN 27

Monday 2 July 2012 14:07

Why waste Toilet Paper? Use a Nokia.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 2 July 2012 15:40

Why waste a Nokia? Use a brick.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Tuesday 3 July 2012 0:13

Why waste a brick? Throw the little pig that was using it to build his house.

DevilsMetsGiants 30

Monday 2 July 2012 14:06

Seriously? Grow the **** up. And you think karma is the bitch in your situation? Psh.

Alan2 24

Monday 2 July 2012 14:31

Might as well do it now, karma already got you for it. You don't want that to be in vain!

BighornB 0

Monday 2 July 2012 14:32

He's an ex, get over it you vindictive bitch!

MandieL 27

Monday 2 July 2012 14:40

Karma is only a bitch if you are. YDI.

thew_fml 14

Monday 2 July 2012 14:41

ok, i know I'm a pedantic asshole, but this is a pet peeve of mine - if you're going to use a ridiculous concept like karma, use it correctly. karma operates across lifetimes, not minutes now you can all hate on me for being a jerk

Thale_fml 8

Monday 2 July 2012 14:56

Actually, you're wrong. Sort of. While it does indeed operate across lifetimes, there are different types of karma. Google it.

sarahrocrocrocks 5

Monday 2 July 2012 15:03

I thought egging someones was illegal?

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 2 July 2012 15:06

Just move on, dear.

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The Top

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 570

Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 146

You deserved it 1 130

The Top

Today, my mother got me to guess who she spent the night with. I then find out it was the gas station guy. The same creep that I've been complaining about because he hits on me every time I go get gas. Good pick Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 939

You deserved it 3 355

Today, and for the past few years, I've had a mysterious lump on my pinky finger that will not go away. Every doctor I've gone to has absolutely no idea what it is, or why it even showed up. I'm starting to think that I wouldn't like to find out what it is, if even a medical professional can't say for sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 76

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 705

You deserved it 4 101

Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 336

You deserved it 19 680

Today, I took part in a raffle that was being organised in the small countryside village where I'm vacationing. I live in big city. I won a duck. A real, live duck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 66

Today, I was supposed to get married. Instead, my sister made up a story about me cheating on my fiancé at the bachelorette party. He bought it and dumped me, despite there being no evidence of this. Turns out it was all a plan because they were secretly seeing each other for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 89