Today, I drove a drunk Venezuelan exchange student home after a prom party. Notable events: her puking on the way to the vehicle, her yelling in Spanish at the top of her lungs in the car, her puking out the window in the moving vehicle, and her crying because she felt bad for making me drive. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
Today, I took my best friend to an '80s party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car, as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML
Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML
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Top comments
Ringmaster1 0
She was drunk, what were you expecting?
Aelaena 6
That was nice of you, at least she felt bad.
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Comments (82)
Mozart24 0
Well, after you've HAD her, that should take some of the pain away, right? And dont pretend this wasnt your intention all along... :P
STVader 0
wtf, if she was hot this is totally not an fml and if she isn't, also wtf. YDI
teebonehead 0
Did you nail her later or not ? Drunk girls are fun !
kisekileia 0
People drunk enough to puke can't legally consent.
hockey_chick 0
I'm half Columbian, us South Americans know how to have a good time (most of the time) at least YOUR exchange student didn't steal your flatscreen t.v., leave you at a bar, take your credit cards AND destroy your bathroom. You my friend, are a lucky one
jcp012000 5
Learn to spell the name of your own country. Its Colombia, not Columbia.
eyehurts 0
if u knew she was drunk what else would you expect? FYL indeed, but if you didnt want this to happen you shouldnt have drove her home. were you forced?
thelonelylurker 0
Did you get any action at least?
PJB4466 0
Hey, at least she didn't puke in the car...
Suckstbeyou 0
I swear this website is going down the tubes fast WTF happened????????
NobodysLover 0
Thanks girl Thanks for making us Venezuelans look soooo elegant and refined xP
Dummie 0
You're nicer than I am! I would have thrown her a $20 and called her a cab!